Hidden Light
by crystalann0821
Summary: The Cullens meet Bella at a rough bar but soon find there is more to the story. Will She be able to let Edward and the Cullens into her light or will she keep safely in the shadows? AU/AH
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

I don't even bother to look around the pub. It's a Monday night, which means it's labourers or hard drinkers throwing back their paypackets by the glassful. I don't fit into either category, and when I first started coming to the Tavern at the start of every week they payed me alot of attention. A lone female on a crutch and in a leg brace swimming in bourbon was an easy target, but after so many weeks of my sharp tongue lashings, they finally leave me be. That's all I wanted.

I signalled to my favorite bartender,"hey Sam, can I have another?" He nodded in response and I motioned to let him know I was going to make a detour to the ladies room.

The Tav wasn't really a bad place. On the weekends all the local piss heads came and danced while swallowing whatever chemical concoction was the new rage. At the other end was a bistro that served nice food and housed a small room with a few delapidated games. I walked away from the bar and around the pool tables, heading for the one stall restroom tucked away in the back corner.

After I used the facilities I washed my hands and looked in the mirror. The small window that opened onto the parking lot let a small breeze in and touseled the strands of dark hair that had fallen from my messy bun. My fingers ran under my eyes, looking for some recognition, but there was none. I used to get told how expressive my eyes were but the dark brown orbs staring back at me had no life in them.

As I lamented over my reflection I heard rustling and voices through the window. A drunk sounding man was guffawing at whatever his equally enebriated friend was saying. I couldn't make out their words, but as I turned to return to the bar I heard a third voice.

"Get off of me you pigs!" a shrill female voice called out before her cries were muffled. Before I realised the absurdity of my actions I opened the door to the bathroom, rounded a corner, and hobbled with my crutch out into the parking lot.

Two dirty men were huddled in the corner looking and smelling like junk yard dogs scavenging for fresh meat. All I could see of the woman were her shoes which had probably been a very nice pair of heels before she was dragged into this mess.

I called out,"What the fuck do you thing you two are doing? Let her go."

They both stopped and turned to take me in. Each kept an arm on the woman who was looking at me with large eyes and a small trail of blood running down her face. Finally the larger and somehow uglier of the two slurred,"oy yeah. Whetr yougun do bout it ya fuckin crippled bitch?"

My lips turned up in a cruel smile, I was too drunk to be scared,"Well,asshat, I'm going to use my metal-reinforced leg to kick you and rupture your testicles and maybe break your knees. Then I'm going to climb on top of you and use my crutch to choke you. And it's long enough, I'm sure I can get both of you at once. Try me."

I'm pretty sure even with how drunk they were I would never have made it, but I was counting on them being bullies and not willingly accepting a challenge. The smaller man already released his hold on the small lady and when the big one looked as if he was considering my proposal I stepped forward, trying to look as fluid as possible.  
The effect worked and the two drunks stumbled around the building and out into the night.

Satisfied that they were really gone I turned back to their intended victim. I hadn't noticed before how tiny she was! She was maybe five foot tall heels included. Her short dark hair was sticking up in all directions, but by the amount of product in it, it was like that before the attack. I carefully walked to her, taking measured steps so I didn't scare her.

"Are you ok? Do you want me to call an ambulance?"She shook her head no and only then did I notice that her whole body shook. "Let's get you inside. My name is Bella and I'm not gonna hurt you ok?" She nodded and gave me her arm so that I could steady her with my arm not used with the crutch.

Somehow we hobbled in the door and to the ladies room. I turned her around and patted the sink as a signal for her to jump up which she did. At least it looked like her injuries were minor.

"Ok I'm going to wash your face darlin..." Her big blue eyes became even wider at my endearment. "What, did I say something wrong?"

"Jasper," She said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Who's Jasper?"

"My husband. He calls me darling."

I smiled at her revelation,"Is he from the south?" She nodded and gave me a small smile,"Well me too. If it upsets you what should I call you?"

"Oh it doesn't upset me Bella. We're gonna be great friends. I'm Alice."

Oh great, I saved the crazy chick.

I got Alice cleaned up. Luckily she only had a few scrapes and a cut on her cheek from being backhanded. Tonight was just another reminder of how my life ended up where it has. People always came into my life with bad timing and usually worse intentions. I sat Alice down at a table and decided to drown my thoughts in more alcohol.

Slowly I made my way back to the table, holding a tray with my bourbon and an orange juice for my crazy charge/BFF, depending on who you asked. As I reached the table she folded a small cell phone away and took the tray.

"I called Jazz, he's going to come and get me. I'm so happy you get to meet him, I mean of course you were going to meet him I just didn't expect it to happen this fast which is weird because I usually know stuff but I guess I didn't see tonight happening or I could have avoided it but then I wouldn't have met you so I guess it was good that I didn't see that huh?"

My hand reached for my bourbon but my eyes were locked on the hyper pixie across from me. My mind was trying to calculate how many breaths a normal person would have taken during her speech. Minutes passed as Alice talked excitedly. The only sign that she had just been assaulted was the tensing of her muscles and lowering of her voice when someone passed by too closely. It may have made me a candidate for the nut house but I felt protective of the little psycho. It was in that frame of mind that I stood to block her from the path of a furious looking group who entered the bar.

There were three men and a woman. As I was about to inform Sam of a possible problem, Alice peeked over my shoulder,"Jazzy!"

The group made a line for our table and I just stood there, unsure of what to do. A Blonde man stood in front of me, running his hand through his messy golden curls,  
"Excuse me, can I get to my wife please?"

A small hand held my forearm,"It's ok Bella, they won't hurt us." I simply nodded and hobbled back to my seat on the other side of the table and took a long drink of my amber friend.

Jasper wrapped Alice up in his arms and it took another mouthful of liquid comfort to stop me from scoffing at them. Must be newlyweds. The other woman stood next to them with her arms folded across her full chest. She was a stunning blonde bombshell, tall and statuesque. I'm sure the men in the room would be happy to stare all night, but the giant of the group came and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. I was relieved at his actions as it saved me from the death glare she was sending my way.

"What happened darlin?"Jasper asked before Alice launched into her story. She had been looking for a restroom since the one across the street at the grocery store was out of service. They must be new in town or she would have known not to walk through this area alone at night.

"...and then Bella came out." Alice motioned to me and I tried to melt into the barstool I was balanced on. After her telling of the story I glanced up and saw that at least Goldi-locks was no longer giving me the stink eye. She nodded appreciatively at me and I returned the gesture. The behemoth next to her was just flashing me a huge dimpled grin.

I finally looked at the third man and immediately regretted it. Standing in front of me was a sample of male beauty that someone like me should never be privy to. His strong jaw clenched and his full lips pursed slightly as if he was trying to solve a puzzle. His unkempt hair was like a dark penny, the light catching the bronze and copper tones in his dark tresses. Thick dark lashes surrounded stormy green eyes that were staring at me expectantly. I understood. Alice made me sound like some sort of hero. In reality I'm just a broken woman in a bar that went to the bathroom at the right time.

Everyone was talking at once, except myself and the beautiful man across from me. My discomfort with the situation reached it's limit so I stood up to leave." Well Alice now that I know you're going to be ok. I'm gonna get going. Nice to meet you all."

"Bella please, allow us to take you home."Jasper smiled at me,"I don't think you should be driving sugar."

The offer was tempting until I saw Mr Penny-hair bristle. I shook my head,"If I did that my normal taxi driver would get jealous. I really have to go. See you guys around."

Jasper called out his thanks and Alice kept talking at a speed I had no hope of understanding. I played up being drunk so I could just keep walking, back to my life. Until next week.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Sam," I called out. I lifted my glass to ask for another, glad that he would bring it to me in my dark corner. The last week had been particularly brutal and I would need to down my drinks quickly to bring on the numbness. Hiding was not what I usually did but with that family around it was needed. I almost gave this a miss but I knew I would end up here eventually.

This was a small town so word got around. It had gotten back to me that Alice and her family were seeking me out. I didn't want blame and I wanted thanks even less.  
The beautiful family should go and live their beautiful lives and leave me here to drown my weekly sorrows. Sam placing the glass down shook me from my thoughts and I greedily gulped down the fiery liquid.

"Excuse me, are you Bella?"

Without lifting my head from the dirty table I knew one of them had found me. Her voice sounded warm and the smell of expensive perfume floated from her designer clad frame. Manicured hands were clasped in front of her while she waited for my response.

With a sigh I nodded, unable to bring myself to lie.

"May I sit down?" Again I nodded." It's lovely to meet you dear. My name is Esme Cullen. I am Alice's mother."

I finally lifted my head to meet her eyes. They were a warm hazel green. Her skin looked like pink rose petals and her face was framed by billows of caramel hair that curled near her shoulder blades. Of course she was Alice's mother. There were not many people around here who were that damn gorgeous.

"How is Alice?" I managed out in a raspy voice.

Esme smiled warmly,"She is fine, thanks to you. A little upset that you are so hard to find, but otherwise she is herself."

I had to diffuse Alice's idea that we were going to mean something to each other so I asked as flatly as possible,"Did she need me to help make a statement to the police or something?"

"Oh no Dear, no. Alice is, well different. She has quite the talent of just knowing things. I know that you two have met only once, and under unpleasant circumstances.  
But Alice sees a friend in you Bella, and I see the woman who saved my daughter." Esme's voice was so sure. There was nothing else here but a friend and a hero. She must not get out of the ivory tower much.

"Mrs Cullen, I didn't do anything except trash talk to a couple of drunks. If Sam or one of the guys had heard they would have helped too. It was nothing really and I don't think Alice needs friends like me, so thanks but no thanks."

Guilt ate at me immediately despite me speaking the truth. This gentle woman came to give thanks for her daughter and my drunk ass was trying to get rid of her so I could get even more drunk. I think the third circle of hell is reserved for people like me. I slammed back what was left of my drink and shouted out my order for another.  
My eyes met Esme's and I was closer to tears then I had been in ages. There was no revulsion or even dismissal, just warmth and sympathy. I didn't want or deserve either.

"Look, Mrs Cullen, I'm sorry. I'm sure Alice will be the belle of the freaking ball around here. She doesn't know me."

"Oh Bella dear, I think she does. I think she sees a woman who has given up but was still brave enough to help a stranger. Let us help you."

I felt the bourbon chasing the rage through my veins and I stood up clumsily on my crutch. I hissed out,"You're right I have given up. Those drunks, are what people like me live with. Now tell Alice and the rest of your perfect fucking family that I'm not looking for friends or thanks or charity." I stalked off trying to steady myself but mainlining all that bourbon had caught up to me. My mind was getting hazy as I lowered myself into the cab.

Esme POV

The long drive back to my new home was made longer by the pain in my chest. Bella was broken, far beyond what any of us had suspected. Her assumptions had been wrong,  
our family was not perfect. We are only human. But not one of us summed up humanity like that dear girl.

I pulled my car into the garage and braced myself for everyone's reactions. We had decided I would go as I was the least intimidating and yet I still failed. Walking through the door I was met by my children and their spouses and my loving husband. My heart always soared at this sight but now my mind went back to Bella, and I wondered what she walked into when she went home.

"It didn't work did it?" Alice asked as her face fell.

I shook my head,"No honey I'm so sorry." My husband Carlisle came and wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my shoulder. He whispered,"what happened?"

"In the end she said she didn't want anything we had to offer her. She's so closed off and I think what I said offended her. She tried to brush off what she had done as nothing and I couldn't just let her be. I pushed and she left." I leaned into Carlisle needing his prescence to ground me.

"Did nothing? She threatened to go all kung-fu while crutched up. What she did was freaking awesome!" Emmett bellowed.

Rose rolled her eyes lovingly at her husband before she added,"I have to admit even I was impressed. She tried to protect the shrimp again when we went charging in there." Alice stuck her tongue out at her sister in law for the shrimp comment.

Carlisle held my hand as he walked me over to the large overstuffed chair and pulled me down onto his lap. He gently ran his hand up and down my arm as he asked,"So any ideas on what we should do?"

Alice bounced out of her seat,"I think we should send Edward!"

Edward who had been sitting quietly staring intently at the coffee table looked up. He raised an eyebrow in question at Alice for her suggestion.

"Well just think about it. They are both quiet, closed off, and moody right? It's like sending in an interpretor when someone speaks a foreign language. It's perfect!"

Even amidst the sadness Alice's tinkling laughter lifted the mood. After he stopped chuckling Jasper wrapped an arm around her and drawled,"Ali, if your lovely mama set her off sending Edward in would be like waving a red flag at a bull."

"Gee thanks Jasper,"Edward mumbled. My dear son. I easily saw the similarities between him and Bella. Both such beautiful souls that had given themselves over to a life of solitude. It made my heart ache.

"I'm serious man. You've sat pretty quiet everytime Bella comes up. You go in acting bored and annoyed on top of your usual moody self and she's likely to use that crutch on you."

Everyone had a laugh but Edward. I watched him for a moment. How hadn't I realised how stiff he became whenever we spoke of Bella?"Edward, what is it?"

He took a deep breath and expelled it paling in the process. "There's something I should tell everyone." 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

BPOV

"Good job Mason!" I called out. My little man pumped his legs onto the peddles of his red Radio Flyer tricycle. The ghosts of our past were only whispers as his giggles filled the air. A simple moment with my son had me smiling a real smile. He was magic.

I was so happy when I found our home. It was large and old, filled with character you don't usually find in modern houses. The floors were all a dark cherry wood and a wrap around porch hugged the house on all sides. Maybe it was too big for just Mason and myself but it was out of the way, tucked into the trees, far away from anyone else. You needed a four wheel drive to make it to my front door and I loved that. No one ever came out here. I even managed to scare away the Avon lady who decided to brave my front door. Now it was just us, in our own safe green bubble. There was a medium sized city, Port Angeles, to the north where I could do all the shopping we needed. To the south was Forks, which is the smallest nothing town in the world. I only ventured there on Monday nights.

Mason laughed and squealed as his wheels turn taking him around our dirt driveway. He just had his second birthday and already had a sense of adventure with little fear of conseuqences. If I make it to his eighteenth birthday without having a heart attack I'll count myself lucky. Looking at his cheerful face was a dizzying experience. Other then his slightly darker skin and slate gray eyes we looked so much alike. His smile just came alot easier then mine.

The circumstances he was conceived in were horrible. In my eyes Mason was my hero. Seeing that second pink line on the home pregnancy test gave me the resolve to end the unhealthy cycle I was in. When he was born I was ecstatic and terrified. The ecstacy came from holding him in my arms, watching him take in the world around him, and breathe in his smell. The terror came from knowing that he was outside my body, I would not be able to protect him every second of forever.

I was sitting on the porch watching Mason play when I started to get the feeling like I was being watched. I froze the smile on my face but opened my senses up looking for the source of that sensation. The hair on the back of my neck raised and I heard rustling among the overgrown brush near the driveway.

"Mason come here baby, leave your bike." Using my crutch I lifted myself from my seat and set a faster rhythm then was advisable in my condition. When I made it to Mason I grabbed him and wrapped him around my body with my free arm and raced back at a safer pace then I used before. He cried wanting to go back to his bike.

When I reached the porch I chanced a look backwards and caught a flash of bronze hair crowning the tall figure that made it's way up my driveway.

Edward POV

Why on earth does this woman live out here? Every time I've made this trip I wondered the same thing, and I have made this trip numerous times over the past weeks.  
Each time I had to park my Volvo at the turn-off to her drive and walk the rest of the way.

Very little is known about Bella Swan. Since the night she saved my sister I have thought of little else. It was this confession that I shared with my family. I admitted that I had been seeking out any available information on this woman, even sinking as low to question the town gossips. All I was able to find was her address.

The first time I sought out her home I got lost. I was only able to input the main road her house was off into my GPS, as her property was no where to be found. My car made it a short way before I realised I would have to walk. This almost stopped me. What was I doing chasing down a strange woman? Was it to apease Alice who thought this girl would be her best friend?

No. If I was honest with myself it was just for her, for Bella. How does a woman that brave end up drowning her troubles in cheap liqour in such a dive? She was a puzzle,  
and I had never been good at not knowing the answers. I would go and find her, figure her out, and protect my family if need be.

I remembered trudging through the woods, wishing I had worn more suitable shoes, and contemplating what I would say when I knocked on her door. Maybe I would offer her a reward. If you want to find someones true character, bring money into the situation and it levels everyone into their rightful groups.

A musical laugh reached me. The sound was pure and unmasked and shot right through me. The trees and other assorted flora did not thin as I reached the clearing. In the center was a lovely old home, but I barely registered that. Instead I saw Bella, sitting on a porch swing with a young child. Her long dark hair wrapped around her shoulders like ravens wings and set off the glow of her pale skin. Her lips which had held such a sallow posture at the pub were now lifted into a warm smile. She was reading a book and laughing with the little boy. Even from this distance the love shared between the two permeated my skin and settled into my heart.

I sat there that night for thirty minutes as she read the story through a second time. Her voice was sweet with a slightly husky quality to it and when she laughed,  
my heart stuttered. How is this the same woman? I looked closer and saw the crutch she had the other night. It was hard in the darkening sky but I found the large bulk that made up her brace still in place. I found myself thinking furiously about what had caused her injury. Had she fallen? Did someone push her? I felt anger course through me at whatever had caused her that pain.

They went inside that night and I left, feeling excited and confused. I had not figured out the mystery of this woman. Instead I left even more confused, and that is what has lead me back to this spot every day since. Each time I would see more. The little boy was named Mason and I assumed was her child by the level of devotion and attention she showered him with. Bella loved to play with him outside, and each night as the sky grew dark they would settle onto the porch swing to read.

Her movements were so fluid despite her injury. These movements along with her voice haunted me each night as I left. When her car was not there on Monday I had an idea where she would be. As my mother returned home and spoke of the Bella she encountered I was angry. This woman had a spirit that could light up a black hole and she was hiding it, keeping it for that circle in the woods that surrounded her home. I wanted that light. I needed it.

After I confessed my actions to everyone they sat stunned. Jasper and Rose looked at me as if I needed a vacation to a padded room. Alice was furious that if Bella had discovered me the entire family would be implicated and therefore be seen as crazy stalkers. My parents, strangely enough had little to say. They shared a quiet look which I knew to be one of their "silent conversations".

When I convinced everyone that I merely had a curiosity of the woman they quieted soon enough. Well two hours later, but that's not too bad when you have the entire Cullen clan voicing their opinions. Mom suggested that since I knew the most of her Alice's suggestion that I approach her may be wisest. I decided to give her a day, which I spent mentally preparing myself for her to shoot me or at least deny me the opportunity to speak to her. If only I had spoken that night at the bar, but I was so shocked. I stood there waiting for her to brag, or ask for something, or anything. From the moment her deep eyes met mine I was lost. She looked scared and defiant simultaneously.

My mind was lost in the memory of that stare when I heard the familiar tune of her voice. My feet moved of their own accord, pushing me further, faster, towards the sound my body had come to depend on. I heard her call out for Mason to leave his bike. My feet moved even faster, worried that if she made it inside she would never speak to me. That wooden barrier was like an invisible line I couldn't have her cross.

I came into the clearing and watched her retreating form. Mason clung to her while looking back and crying for his bike which sat abandoned. As she reached the porch her face turned around and for a moment I was lost. Her face was panicked and her body hunched with fierce protectiveness over Mason as she fled. I wanted to comfort her and guarantee that I meant neither her or Mason any harm. Instead I only called out as calmly as my racing heart would allow,"Bella." 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

BPOV

I'm not sure what stopped me. Normally a man, albeit a beautiful one, appearing from the trees doesn't make me comfortable. Maybe it was that I recognized him from the pub. Perhaps it was the panicked look on his face. Or it could have been the way he breathlessly said my name. His voice reached me and an unfamiliar shiver raced up my spine.

"Mommy, who?" Mason's small voice penetrated the fog in my head. I turned to give an apologetic smile to the man only to have it returned with a look of utter determination. He started to slowly stalk across the yard as I was took measured steps across the porch. The primal cadence of his strides awoke instincts in me and I ran into the comfort of my sanctuary. Once inside I locked the doors and placed Mason into his play pen. My hands wrapped around his face and I kissed him on his head,  
terrified and ashamed of what I had once again brought to his front door. Only a moment after I placed a car into my son's chubby hands, I heard the soft knock at the door.

The door loomed at me. Only that bit of wood and the screen door behind it seperated me from HIM. He that was so beautiful it made me cower. He that was clever and determined enough to find my house hidden away. HIM.

"Bella? Tell me if you are at the door. Please. You can just listen." How can someone sound pleading and powerful at the same time? I wanted to run and hide and pray that he would disappear. However I was getting the distinct impression that the Cullen family did not just go away. With the beauty, money, and charm they possesed I doubt they were used to disappointment. I didn't trust my voice. Instead I quietly walked to the door and gave three light taps. His first reply was a heavy sigh.

"I'm Alice's brother, my name is Edward. I was there the night you saved her and I'm sorry I acted so strangely and that my family keeps hassling you. I can promise you that we mean you no harm. We just expected a different reaction from you or any reaction. My mother, Esme, didn't mean to insult you. She feels bad but wasn't sure how you would take to her showing up to apologise. We just want to know you Bella. All of us."

Edward. The beautiful man with the velvet voice had a name, but I'm sure he also had an agenda. They all do. Despite that he had been polite so I owed him that much in return. With shaking hands I opened the door, holding the cold metal knob in my hand like a talisman. He stood there, graceful under stress. He needed to go back to his family. It was my sad duty to send him on his way.

I locked my dead brown eyes onto his vibrant green and said as evenly as possible,"There is nothing to know." The door closed, but I knew the look in his eyes would haunt me.

EPOV

"There is nothing to know" and the door closed. She was lying. This infuriating, beautifully mind boggling woman was lying. I saw it in her eyes, the resignation. The fear. And the desire to do the right thing. A piece of the puzzle finally fell into place. Bella not only thought she was protecting herself, but she thought she was protecting others by keeping them at arms length.

I took one last look at her door, willing it to open. Of course it stayed closed. With a heavy heart and a spinning mind I trudged back through the green brush and finally reached my car.

A few things became clear during my walk. The first being that Bella felt guilty and scared. Whatever combination of events lead to that dichotomy of emotions was still a mystery, but I saw them clearly. Secondly, her eyes told much more of her story when she hadn't been drinking. This excited and frustrated me. I was almost positive the only place I would be able to catch her now was that horrible bar she frequented.

My head flew back against the headrest as I remembered her smile. Her melodic laugh filled some hole inside of me I wasn't even aware of having. When her eyes follow Mason around the yard they dance, even if her body isn't able.

Maybe dad could find out what happened to her leg. Technically she wasn't his patient but as a new doctor at the hospital surely he could take a peek? Perhaps he could even look into the file pertaining to Mason's birth if she had him locally.

I choked out a harsh laugh at my own absurdity. What started out as a curiosity was becoming an obsession. The stark contrast between the bitter drunken heroine and glorious mother goddess that were both Bella Swan was beyond confounding.

Home was not a place I wanted to be. I love my family dearly, but to face their questions now on top of my own may finally send me into madness. Being new to the area I had little idea of where to go. My car hugged the curves of the highway easily, too smoothly. The turbulance in my body was in direct contradiction with the easy drive.

The road looked rougher going towards La Push, the local Indian reservation. I turned that way and drove until I came to a small beach, lit only by the moonlight. I got out of the car and stretched, trying to free myself of some tension but to no avail. The hood was a more sensible place to sit but I chose to walk the short distance over the sand to sit closer to the water.

Even being this far away from a big city there were few stars to be seen. The cloud cover was near complete and the waves were crashing creating the scene of a storm.  
At least this better suited the situation.

My mind conjured up a picture of Bella sitting here next to me, her long sable mane getting caught in the wind. Her eyes looking unguarded out to sea, taking in a beauty that didn't come close to rivalling her own.

Even at the bar it was impossible not to see her as attractive, though I assume she tried her best to hide it. When Alice spoke of Bella's actions I felt a sense of wonder. Here was a woman, who herself looked lost and beaten, who defended my sister. She wanted no recognition and I suspect she was more afraid of Alice's interest in her then anything else.

My thoughts flicked between that first night, her in her yard, and tonight as she closed the door, when I heard footsteps coming closer.

"Um, hey. Excuse me? You shouldn't be out here so late. It's not safe," A deep voice called over the waves.

I looked up and I mean way up. The man was obviously native American and looked close to seven feet tall. His dark hair was tied and his angular face was neither menacing or welcoming. It just was.

Clearing my throat I stood up," I apologise. I'm new to the area and needed a place to clear my head, this seemed like a good spot."

The man laughed,"Hey man no problem. Wasn't sure so I had to check you out. I'm Jacob, Jacob Black."

I extended my hand,"I'm Edward Cullen."

Jacob shook my hand and smiled,"So what's wrong Cullen, local women trouble already?"

"In a way. You wouldn't happen to know anything about a Bella Swan, would you?"

As soon as her name crossed my lips a look of pain and anger loomed from his dark eyes. He looked around the ground before blowing a large breath of air out. "Oh yeah,  
I know Bella." 


	5. Chapter 5

RPOV

Five years ago nothing would have convinced me to chase down an irratic woman, who possibly had multiple personalities or lives, into this shithole of a bar. I had to pick myself up out of the grime, why should I care about her?

But in the last five years that had changed, I had changed. I had met and married Emmett. My turbulent past meant a peaceful path full of laughter and solace and most of all a family.

The last two weeks have held little conversation around my family's compound that didn't involve Bella Swan. I admit to falling back into old mindsets and suspisions.  
Surely anyday now she would come waltzing in with her hand out or eyes open, looking for anything she could pilfer. But I was left waiting. She never showed, and even scorned what was brought to her. Bella rejected Esme, and even more amazing she managed to blow off Alice. I love my sister in law but no one had ever avoided her successfully. I would have been merely impressed if it weren't for the pixie's adamance that little miss hideaway would mean something to our family. Jaded as I was, I rarely bet against Alice.

When Edward confessed his stalking tendancies to us, I thought he had finally lost it. Maybe all of his moodiness wasn't intentional and he really was chemically unbalanced. But when he returned a few days ago babbling about dancing eyes and slamming doors I was ready to call the men in the white lab coats to haul his crazy ass away.

He finally calmed down enough to put sentances together and told us about running into Jacob who it turns out is Bella's ex. He spun a story to Edward of how unstable Bella was and her penchant for running away from anything difficult. Edward spoke the words like they were choking him.

It wasn't Esme's tears or even Alice's pout that brought me here. Jasper and Carlisle's desire to help didn't move me, nor did my husband's excitement over Bella's "mad gangster dialogue". Even seeing signs of life in Edward was not my motivation. It was the spell this woman seemed to have over my family, and my gut instinct telling me that we still were'nt getting all of the story.

I walked into the bar and stood facing an open area. The smell of spilled beer and sweat hung heavy in the air and I'm sure was well settled into anything that would hold it. For a moment I worried that she had not come in order to further avoid us, but there she sat. At a table for two but all alone, staring out of a window.

As I drew closer I noticed the window overlooked the parking lot making it probable that she had seen me enter. My hand pulled out the empty chair at her table and I sat down, waiting for her to speak.

After a minute of silence she breathed deeply before saying," If you're here to tell me that your family is leaving me alone because of what Jake said, you could've saved yourself the trouble. And the gas money."

I had to laugh a little. "You obviously don't know this family."

"No I don't."

"Maybe you should get to know us. I mean I married in and at first they freaked me the hell out. All this love and understanding shit was a bit much. But it gets easier." I hedged.

Another sigh,"Look.."

"Rosalie. My name is Rosalie."

A small smile,"Rosalie, I'm sure you heard everything you need to know, and I'm really not into Jesus or meditation or whatever you guys are pushing ok?"

I laughed heartily as she downed the rest of her drink before staring once again at the table. "No one is pushing anything. Everyone was curious about you and how you didn't really react to anything. Then Jake describes you like some succubus gypsy that he escaped with his life barely intact. It doesn't add up Bella. I smell bullshit."

She sat quiet, the dark curtain of her hair shadowing her features, making it hard to see the sardonic smile slipping onto her lips."Succubus gypsy huh? I think he gave me too much credit. Even if it is bullshit why do you care so damn much?"

That was the question. "Alice honestly thinks you two are going to be great friends. I know she sounds like a candidate for electro shock but she's usually right. Esme and Carlisle are thankful for you saving Alice and want to help in some way, don't ask me why I have no fucking clue. Those two are up for saint hood or something.  
Emmett, the big guy, that's my husband. He flat out just thinks your cool. Myself and my cousin Jasper who is married to Alice? Well let's say that our family was a whole lot different then the Cullens. Broken people recognise broken people chick."

For a moment I thought I saw a blush creep up her cheeks before she quietly asked," What's Edward's reason?"

"You would have to ask him. That boy is still a mystery to me."

"I wasn't very nice to him, hell I exploded at mama bear. I've been a total rotten bitch to all of you."

"So why don't you tell me your side of the story, give me the backstory and I won't have to kick your crippled ass." I raised an eyebrow in challenge but also in jest.  
Bella smiled a genuine smile and shook her head gently.

"What do you want to hear? The family I came from is a mess and I'm trying not to pass that little legacy on to my son. Jake? He's the nicest and most normal person I've ever known and probably has the best to say about me. Yes even with what he told Edward."

I watched her in confusion and saw her face fall bit by bit. In one second I was convinced she would cry before she swallowed at looked at me with the deadest eyes I've ever seen."I'm a curse Rosalie. You care about your family so much, then keep them away from me. "

Never in my life have I let an argument go but I did then. I watched as Bella sat and stared out the window as if I wasn't there. She hadn't even moved away from me but it was clear that I would get no more from her. But that's not why I left. I got up and walked away because deep down in my bones, I believed her, and I needed to protect my family from the curse that was Bella Swan. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

EPOV

I am a fool. That's what men who allow their pride to disregard the facts are called. At least I am trying furiously to convince myself that it is pride. When Rose returned to the family home last night my hope should have dissipated. Her glorious face greyed with worry and her brow lined with determination. Jasper and Rose came from an unhealthy background to put it mildly. I should heed Rose's warning but even as I hear her in my mind my very being rallies against her words.

"Edward she's not good. There's something wrong about her and she knows it. Bella told me that if I care about my family to keep them from her and that's what I'm going to do. So should you." Her sapphire eyes looked at me with sympathy and what may have been caution.

Her concerns echoed Jake's. He made her sound so wiley, as if her very purpose in this world is to lift the broken higher then they have ever been, only to watch them drown and thrash when reality came back around. "There's something wild in that woman Edward." His words gave birth to a white rage that came from my bones. To know he had tasted her lips and smelled her skin but betrayed that memory with his crass description made me sick. Nothing but my curiosity to know more had allowed me to stay my temper.

Everyone said the same thing. No one knows where she came from and Mason's connection to Jake seems to be the only thing keeping her here. I had yet to find anyone who knew the identity of the young boy's real father. They say that no man is an island, but somehow this woman had just about managed it. There are no kind words said in reference to Bella and she floats in and out, touching as little as possible. She's hesitant to leave any trace of herself but cannot help making an impression. Perhaps this is where her frustration comes from?

It's Tuesday morning, the sun has barely risen and I'm sitting on Bella's verandah, wondering how she makes it home after her weekly imbibing. The first night she mentioned a taxi but I don't see an old sedan making it here, or her allowing anyone to know it's location. Her truck is still in the driveway and jealousy courses through me. Does she have a secret friend or maybe lover? Perhaps she will answer that question along with all of the others. My mind is correlating all that I want to ask her when I hear someone approaching.

I stand and strain my senses before turning toward the shrubbery to the left of the house. There, emerging from the deep green storm of leaves, is Bella. Her hair is crazy and tangled and there are smudges of brown earth painting the alabaster skin on her face and arms.

I've never seen a sight more lovely.

Jake was right. There is something wild about this woman, but where I should be frightened I find myself in quiet awe.

Her brown eyes lift from the ground at her feet and set upon me. She does not look surprised, only resigned, and I finally feel like the stalker that I have become. She walks over to where I stand, looking around us, taking in unseen details that she deems vital. When she reaches the verandah Bella waves a small hand at the steps in a gesture of asking me to sit. I do and she joins me, plucking bits of the forrest out of her leg brace.

We sit there in silence until with a sigh I say,"You lied to me Bella, there is plenty to know."

Bella sits up straight grabbing a hair tie from her wrist before piling her long hair on the top of her head. Being this close was intoxicating, her scent of earth and chocolate causing my head to spin. My fingers itched to trace the length of her neck and I wondered when I had gone from being curious about this woman to becoming enthralled.

"You know all you need to know and yet you're still here. There's proof enough. Of course I lied to you Edward." Bella's words were said in one breathy rush, her voiced pained . She sounded as if she were choking on the words but forcing them out regardless. I looked at her, silently begging for her to meet my eyes. "I lied to you, because I think you are beautiful. It's disasterous for people when I find them beautiful. You're here, despite Jake telling you what a wretched monster I am. Why? Because it's happening again and I don't want it to happen again, and I don't want to do it to you, so please PLEASE just go away."

"What is happening again?" She scoffed at me and I said, "If you truly want me to leave then I need answers." I was resolute. Nothing could make me leave without at least an explanation. Bella breathed a heavy sigh then looked at me with heartache in her eyes.

"I turn people bad Edward. Whatever darkness or even potential for it is in them, I bring out. I don't know how or why but I do. No matter how they start out they end up nightmares.  
I try everything I can think of, but it's always the same. I find the beauty and then kill it. And Edward you're the most beautiful I've ever seen. Since that night, that damned night where I stupidly joined the human race again, you've called to me. Stronger then anything I've felt, so please take your beauty and go."

She said most of this by rote, a story she had retold yet again. But when she mentioned me, when my name escaped her pink mouth, she sounded mortally wounded. Her explanation left me shocked. I couldn't argue the point not knowing each and every situation that she was talking about. God I wanted to. I knew that she was resolute in finishing our contact and that no more questions would be answered, yet I couldn't pull myself away. She seemed to sense this and becase increasingly agitated. Suddenly she huffed and stood.

"Oh for fuck's sake. Goodbye Edward." Still frozen I watched as she hobbled to her home before disappearing inside. Then I was alone, but it didn't feel like she was gone. 


	7. Chapter 7

Ch 7

BPOV

If I have to listen to this Disney cd one more time I'm going to stuff my ears with roasted marshmallows. Nothing would get past that, just silence. I don't have anything against Disney really, and truth be told I need to earn as many good points as I can. I'm almost positive I had my ticket to Hell printed a long time ago.

My eyes catch Mason bouncing his feet and singing along in his toddler seat. The smile stretches across my face before I realize it and the words of singing woodland creatures escape before my dignity can stop them.

Oh who am I kidding? Dignity is a luxury I don't have much need for. Growing up it always seemed that the dignified people had the least fun. Why aspire to a life of boredom?

Life is too miserable to be spent bored as well. Humanity is ugly and weak in spirit. I know the hardest truth is that most good people aren't good, they simply haven't been offered the chance to become bad. Every person has their own poison, whether it's the lusty abandon of sex or the losing of oneself in any number of intoxicant, there is a bottom for all. I wonder what Edward's is?

Damnit that man! All of my effort to escape human attention, to shroud myself in forrest so that no one can look too closely, but he was there. Again. I'm not sure how he found my house. Judging by the look in his eyes though I know why.

Fuck he likes me. Or he thinks he likes me. Edward, beautiful Edward is a rare gem because he doesn't know that he is beautiful. Ridiculous as it is, it's true. His confidence is in his words more then his stature, so I'm guessing he hides behind his intellect, using snark and wit to justify his lonely existence. But he doesn't have to be lonely, and he doesn't have to settle for me just because I'm "different" to the vapid bimbos I'm sure throw themselves at him. He deserves better, someone whole who won't eat away at his very existence.

Speaking of eating, I'm starved.

"Are you hungry baby?" I checked the rearview mirror without need to see Mason nodding his head. My boy got my appetite, along with my stubborn streak and my tendancy to fall into or over everything. I keep bandaids and antiseptic in my purse for us both.

A few minutes later I pull into a small shopping plaza that houses my favorite hole in the wall pizza place along with a gym, a coffee shop, and a hobby store full of yarn and pipe cleaners in assorted colors. And of course my favorite bookstore. I find a spot and with the ease that comes from months of being in this condition maneuver myself out of the car and around to Mason's side. He's half out of the seat already having caught where we were eating. I grab his little hand and start to walk across the plaza when I hear what would biologically be considered a man.

"Well looky here. It's the crippled bitch that goes around ruining people's fun." I grabbed Mason and dragged him behind me while turning towards the voice. He was cleaned up and sober, but there was no mistaking him. It was the smaller of the men who had attacked Alice and he looked happy to see me for all the wrong reasons. "James will be so sorry he missed you. But you should count yourself lucky it's me that found you. That man is really fucked up and he's not happy about you interfering bitch."

His eyes darkened with every sentence and the beligerant drunk in him surfaced without the alcohol. Mason was too small to run by himself and there was no one in the parking lot to help me. I tried to back up but Mason was scared frozen and clinging to my leg. Now that he was sober and stood straight the man looked a hell of a lot bigger and I didn't think shit talking would work this time. He started to walk towards me. It was all going to come down to seconds.

I dropped the crutch and screamed for help as loud as possible. The scream did it's job and startled him before he came after me even faster, hoping to attack before anyone arrived. When he was a foot away I did the only thing I could think of and kicked out with my metal reinforced leg, just as I had threatened to do to him that night at the Tavern.  
There were the sounds of bone crunching and tissues ripping but there was no way to tell if it was from him or me. He fell backwards howling and I dropped to the ground as carefully as possible so I didnt fall on Mason. I scooted a few feet away from him dragging my poor baby with me, grinding my teeth into ash so I didn't scream and terrify the boy even more. Pain was radiating from my leg, my knee the epicenter, and I shook with fear for myself and for my son. A moment later over the howling of the bastard across from me I heard footsteps.

"What the fuck Laurent?" I tried not to laugh. I honestly did. But even only seeing him from the back I knew that the huge man standing between me and my attacker was Rosalie's husband Emmett. He heard me and turned around, recognition lighting his face within seconds. "Bella? Holy shit what happened to you? What the fuck is going on here? Is that your kid? Fuck sorry for swearing so much."

Another hysterical laugh bubbled up before I answered,"Yes I'm Bella and I know who you are too Emmett. This guy tried to attack me because he's pissed off that I stepped in when he tried to attack Alice. This is my son mason. Don't worry about the swearing right now but a fucking doctor would be great." My voice became coarse towards the end and I saw everything I had sputtered out sink in with Emmett. He snapped into action and pulled out his cell phone.

"Hey baby. I need two favors. First get dad to set up the x-ray machine and the first aid room. Second, send Jasper out to the parking lot. Oh and you come too. Think we might need a babysitter."

Mason crawled on my lap sending pain shooting in all directions. I thought it was this agony that had me hearing things incorrectly. They were here? All of them? My hand stroked Mason's back robotically as everything became very calm. I knew on some level I was in shock but I figured I could fall apart later.

"Emmett, is your whole family eating pizza or something?"

"Huh? Oh no. We kind of bought the plaza."

Maybe I wasn't fighting the shock as well as I thought. "You bought the plaza? A whole plaza. Who the hell are you people?"

He smiled a hug dimpled grin and went to answer when I heard the human stampede reach us. There were three blondes: Rosalie, Alice's husband Jasper, and who I assumed was the papa bear of the family. Rosalie and Jasper came to me while papa Cullen went and checked on the ass hole who was still writhing in pain.

Things started to go fuzzy when I heard Emmett speak,"Dad you're not here for him, you're here for Bella." He looked at everyone as my name hung in the air and I saw the discreet nods. Talk about awkward. Hi doc, I'm the girl who has chased off your family. Repeatedly.

Emmett cleared his throat," Jasper you're here for him. Laurent attacked Bella here why? Because he's one of the shitheads she got Ali away from that night. Figured you'd want the honors." Jasper's eyes raised to mine looking for confirmation. I almost lied because the look in that southern man's eyes told me this could be a matter of a man's life. But then again, saving him could cost another woman so I told the truth and nodded my affirmation.

He stood slowly and doctor daddy said,"Maybe we should go inside." After a minute of reassurance Mason went to Rosalie and Emmett scooped me up as gently as he could manage. I had to curl into his huge chest and bite into my wrist to stop the scream from escaping my throat. 


	8. Chapter 8

EPOV

Moving to the Olympic Peninsula was never on my to do list. When my parents announced last Christmas that they were doing just that, I was shocked that they would move away from their kids. That is until I heard about the plaza. Since both of my siblings had married they had moved out and of course we saw them less. The plaza had something for every one of us to try our hands at. Carlisle and Esme Cullen are unapologetic and uncharacteristically ruthless when it comes to keeping their family together.

None of us had to work. Our family is old money and we could live for an eternity without denting the bank accounts, despite Alice's efforts. This would give us each the chance to try though. Rose was looking forward to running the coffee shop. Jasper and Alice had the pizzeria which still makes me laugh seeing as how Alice doesn't cook and Jasper only grills. Lucky they're not depending on the income.

Mom of course is in the craft store. Before she married dad and had us kids she wanted to work in interor design but relegated it to a hobby. Emmett runs the gym. Strangely enough it's probably the worst fit. He's so physical we all thought it would suit him, but he is a social creature and has found out that the only people looking for conversation at the gym are senior citizens. Dad still works at the hospital but his work load is much smaller then it used to be. He has a few small rooms at the gym set up like medical offices.  
My father spends his days off from the hospital here researching and treating the meatheads who injure themselves lifting too much.

The bookshop is mine. It hasn't gotten a makeover like the other stores have. No fresh paint or new ornaments. The sounds of every voice in the world don't follow me through these doors and the only people that enter my non chain store are serious lighting is still dim and the furnishings old. I love the smell of dust and books and find that it's the only place I can find any peace. Or at least the illusion of it.

My mind is pondering the possibility of collecting rarer books when a shrill noise breaks through my thoughts. It's my cell phone ringing and I see Emmett's name on the screen,"Yes Em?"

"Um hey bro. I-" his sentence is cut off by his own whimper and a thick sounding swallow."Ah hell. I think you should come down to the gym, to dad's rooms ok bro?"

My fingers pinched the bridge of my nose as I inhaled the dust of my shop deeply, hoping to find some patience."I'm not coming down there to see some steroid case who lifted too much and now has a bone sticking out. Once was enough thank you."

"Edward, Bella's here and she's ok but she's hurt pretty bad."

I was up as soon as I heard her name but stopped in my tracks when I heard that she was hurt. The bile rose in my throat as the idea swam through me, polluting me with it's wrongness. I closed the phone and walked on shaky legs out of the bookstore and towards the gym, towards Bella. My broken Bella.

The possibilities of her injuries bombarded my brain. Em said that she was ok but badly hurt-which was it? If she was ok she wouldn't be hurt at all. She wouldn't be in Emmet's gym in my father's rooms. Bella would be in the woods laughing or in my arms smiling. Perhaps that was pushing it but damnit I'm sick of this. How many times has she walked away? Now she can't and one way or another I'm using this opportunity to get through to her. Sure that makes me a bastard but I'm beyond caring.

Jasper was sitting outside, blood staining his shirt and coloring a few pieces of his pale hair a gory orange. The thought of it being Bella's blood turned mine cold. He must have realised because he said,"It's not hers. It's Laurent's."

I cocked my head at him."That guy who did the renovations on the plaza?"

He nodded his head, "Yep. He was one of the guys that attacked Ali." Jasper's voice cracked and he heaved a long sigh before continuing. "I know it went too far but Edward, she's my wife. He tried to hurt her and that's all I could think of. You may not understand but I had to do it for her. She has a right to feel safe." His eyes begged me to understand but didn't offer any apology.

I don't like violence, and I like people who commit it even less. In that moment though, I felt no anger towards my brother in law. Not even disappointment."I've got to get to Bella."

He looked up at me,"Yeah I'm going to go talk to Ali. If she finds out she didn't know about Bella this whole time we're all in for a world of hurt. Oh and good luck. That lady gives all the Cullen women a run for their money in the 'spirit' department." This was no news to me.

I walked in, ignoring the ugly walls and the stench of stale sweat. My ears waited to hear sounds of distress but all I heard was arguing. I pushed the door open and took in a strange scene. Emmett was against the far wall looking green and sweating. Rose was sitting a few feet away from him with Mason on her lap and singing something about monkeys. Bella was on the bed, covered by a sheet, hunched over her bad leg, and almost growling at my father who was taking a very stiff posture with her. He turned when he saw me enter.

"Edward. Good. Maybe you can talk some sense into this woman."

Rose chuckled and muttered "not likely" before going back to entertaining Mason, this time with a roll of sports tape. I ran my fingers through my unruly hair before I asked the loaded question," Will someone please explain what happened?"

Emmet swallowed before starting," I was working at the front and I heard some gruesome screaming so I run out and find Laurent. He's laying on the ground all busted up and I was gonna help him till I heard like a laugh so I turn around and find Bella on the ground with Mason looking crazed as shit. No offence baby bell." She nodded at him and I stared unbelieving that Emmett of all people seemed to have gotten through to her. He has a nickname for her already. And she was fine with it. Welcome to the Twilight Zone.

"So anyway after some quick intros baby bell here tells me how L attacked her because he was one of the jerkoffs who attacked our sis. Not cool right bro? So I called the blonde brigade and all three came. Jazz dealt with L and Rosie is mama bearing for a minute."

I looked around expectantly but no one offered anything else up. "Ok I think that I understand all of that. Can you please tell me why my father and Bella look like they are about to need boxing gloves?"

Bella looked down in shame and actually blushed, " Going to the hospital is not an option for me and your dad won't let me leave unless it's in an ambulance."

During Bella speaking the door burst open and my mother and Alice fell into the room with Jasper lagging behind.

Alice started right away," Oh Bella thank God you're ok! Jasper told me what happened. That bastard and we knew him he did work here for us did you know? Are you ok?  
Of course you're not ok. You've been attacked again. Is that how you hurt your knee first because you seem to fall into this stuff alot?"

The only thing that stopped Alice from climbing up onto the bed was dad standing in front of it. Bella sat frozen behind him, suddenly grateful for his presence. Mom went right up to him and scolded, "Carlisle Cullen. Don't you think this poor girl has been through enough? Why on earth can't she go home if she wishes?"

He let out a sigh before lifting the sheet covering Bella's bottom half. There was a pale set of legs that may have been lovely if one of them wasn't so mangled. Mom and Alice gasped, dad looked smug, Bella rolled her eyes, and Emmett fainted clean away.

"That's why Dear."


	9. Chapter 9

Ch 9

BPOV

I waited for someone to make a move to help Emmett off of the floor, thinking that I could use that time to make an escape. Every Cullen turned to look at the huge lump of man on the floor. All except one. One set of eyes stayed on me, unwavering, unchallenging, only assessing as one might a caged animal that had escaped. There was some merit to that comparison.

Voices started throwing in their opinions of what should happen, what would happen, arguing and compromising, settling on a solution before finding another problem with it.  
Anything including a trip to the hospital was out of the question but I let them fight amongst themselves. Divide and conquer might be my only chance.

This went on for almost three minutes before Emmett stirred and I quickly covered my lower limbs to save the gentle giant another trip to the lino. Esme stood near him gently stroking his back while still discussing options with her husband. The argument went on while I silently stared back at the two green storms pointed in my direction.

Edward's lip quirked just a bit before he regained his stoic expression and said," Can you all please excuse us? I would like to have a word to Bella in private."

The movement in the room ceased and all eyes moved to Edward, but his gaze stayed on me, freezing me in place.

"No one is leaving with my son" I gritted out defiantly.

A small furrow graced Edward's brow as he tried to come up with a solution, to this forgotten complication. It only lasted a moment before he said with the utmost confidence,  
"No of course not. If you will allow it Bella he'll stay in here with us and I'll chase after him if the need should arise."

His formal language had not escaped my notice. Neither had his attempt at cold calculation. I admired his cunning, thinking I would believe him to be unfeeling in this situation and acting only on logic. Maybe if I hadn''t spent so many hours thinking about him and his beautiful face, I wouldn't have seen the panic when he first arrived. But it was there, in his deep eyes. He still had an interest in me even if he was heeding my warning. Edward was my only hope though so I nodded my agreement.

The rest of the Cullens filed out and Rosalie handed a confused Mason to Edward. I watched the moment the two males finally met and felt the danger grow. Mason studied the tall man holding him and enquired a thousand questions silently, which Edward answered in kind. After a moment they seem to come to some understanding and Mason climbed down and calmly walked over to the abandoned roll of sports tape. Suddenly I felt outnumbered and worried in a whole new fashion.

Edward's eyes followed Mason before he turned back towards me, but this time looked only at the ground. "Is it his father that you are hiding from?"

I tried to let rage fill me, to let the anger heat me from inside and chase away the shiver of fear, but even to me my voice sounded weak as I replied," Who says I'm hiding from anyone?"

A dry laugh," Bella your leg looks like it's been caught in a stampede. You do realise that you have compound fractures don't you? See these things coming out of your skin here and here- that's your bone. And it's supposed to be on the inside. It also looks like your foot is about to fall off and, um, where is your kneecap?"

As he spoke his voice went from sarcastic and condescending to sick and scared. I couldn't handle him being scared because then I would have to accept that this time I may not be able to get by with at home medical treatment. The possible consequences of that and the physical pain teamed up on me until the words fell out of my mouth without my permission.

"Yes his father. If I go to the hospital he will find me. I can't do it Edward, I know what he'll do. He'll take my baby and leave my body in a ditch somewhere so if I have to hobble around forever with my insides poking out fine. He's not taking Mason." The tears fell and I felt the shame start to blossom. How had I ever gotten here? Oh right, I helped Alice.  
Damn this family for getting me involved. Edward knew now which means I would have to leave, pickup and go again. This time that thought punched a painful hole through my chest.

"He won't take Mason I promise you Bella. You have to let us help you. Let me help you, please." The pleading in his voice twisted my guts. He shouldn't sound desperate, he should be happy always.

But fear is a strong motivator for selfishness."I can't trust you, any of you."

"Why not? Have we ever done anything to make you doubt us? Have I?" he challenged.

I sighed,"No but you're only human. It's only a matter of time."

He lowered his head in thought, his brow furrowed deeply this time. His eyes searched the room even roaming over Mason before burning into me once again. I heard his throat clear,  
"What if we compromised? What if you let my father treat you? You and Mason could come to stay at our home until you are able to get by again. We have security in place. Mason seems comfortable with us. As it stands now Bella, in your condition, you won't be able to take care of yourselves. You couldn't walk out of here under your own steam"

The fact that he was right ate at me, at my pride, and also spiked my fear. That didn't however change the fact that he was right. I knew that Jake would not be able to take Mason since he was away in Seattle. I had few choices available.

Choice one: Go to the hospital. Pack up and run as soon as the pain medication wore off. Leave it all behind, even Jake and yes the Cullens. Maybe I should just go, get my leg fixed,  
and then run from this place and the copper haired man. The hole grew a little deeper when I considered it. And although I had few good words to say about Jake, Mason and he had a bond. Taking away the only man in my son's life would be a big call to make.

Choice two: Go home and hope that I could glue myself back together without passing out from the pain or possibly dying of infection. This choice was my favorite except for the likelihood that I might die and leave Mason on his own. There's only so much medical knowledge and equipment that one can obtain from the internet.

Choice three: Move into the Cullens and offer up my soul to whoever would take it that they were as good as they seem from the outside. Some part of me longed to give in, to allow this family and Edward in particular the chance to show me goodness. That part is usually loudly overruled by the other part of me, known as experience, that says people are people and therefore untrustworthy and inconstant. But it was the best chance for me to regain my mobility and take care of Mason's needs.

Well shit.

"OK Edward, but a few promises first. No one is to know where Mason and I are. I won custody fair and legal so you're not harboring any fugitives, and yes I noticed you didn't ask. Try to keep Alice from going all movie of the week on me. I know in her mind we are destined to be buds, but I do friendships about as well as lastly, what I said to you before still stands. You're beautiful and to keep you that way, you are forever off limits to me. Deal?"

Edward took the few short steps to me before grabbing my outstretched hand. The warm shock that radiated from his touch made me gasp, and he used that moment to raise my hand to his mouth,"I didn't ask because I don't care. I already promised that no one would take him from you Bella. I keep my promises. I'll do my best with Alice but it will be difficult to guard you from her if I have to stay so far away." The corner of his mouth raised in a smirk.

"You're playing dirty there Cullen, using your annoying sister like that."

His lips barely brushed my knuckels as he whispered," It's up to you, Me or Alice, but the choice is yours."

God I hope Carlisle has morphine. 


	10. Chapter 10

I didn't know that eyelids could weigh this much. Mine felt like iron curtains, magnetically sealed over my eyes, keeping out all but the slightest slice of pale light. No shapes could be seen, only shadows in pale watery blues. Did I drown? It does rain here often enough I may have drowned in my bed. No that's silly. People don't drown in their beds. But then,  
where the hell was I?

My mouth felt like I drank a barrel full of glue and then gargled with sand, and the taste wasn't any better. My head moved side to side and I could wiggle my fingers and lift my arms. I let out a groan of satisfaction while my blood woke from it's stagnant state. Everything was fine until I tried to move my left leg and realised that it had turned into a giant tree trunk, heavy and unmoving. And fuck painful!

My groan turned less satisfied and I heard the soft thud of a book closing and being pushed to the side. My pace quickened when I heard the approaching footsteps and then felt the bed sink next to me.

"Shh Bella everything is ok. You and Mason are safe. Shhh dear." That voice and that smell were so familiar, one reminding me of soft breezes and the other warm caramel. Esme was with me, and she said Mason was alright. Somehow only her word on his welfare was acceptable and I exhaled the heavy breath I was holding. I noticed myself shivering as a thick blanket was placed over my body.

With some determination and intense eye rubbing I slowly regained my vision, hazy at first but clearing until I could take in the details of my room. I smelled flowers and saw a beautiful bouquet of orchids on the dressing table. The furniture included this, the bed I laid in, a bookshelf, and a desk all in dark redwoods. The walls were a pale lavender and bronzed pieces of art adorned flat surfaces throughout the room. A Dark maroon rug laid on the floor and stretched to the far wall which despite being covered by curtains, I suspected to be made entirely of glass. And of course the loveliest thing of all in the room, my very own Cullen, the motherly edition, who was staring at me, watching and waiting.

"Where's Mason?" My voice was thick and barely made it from my throat. Mama Cullen handed me a glass of water and helped me sit up before answering.

"He's down stairs and I can assure you he is fine. Everyone is quite taken with him, but you know how spirited he is don't you dear?"

My only response was a snort and a shake of my head. I figured he charmed the Cullens out of their cookie supply in under five minutes. "So, um, what's going on now, I mean with my leg and everything?"

"From what Carlisle told me it was quite the mess, but I suppose that much was obvious. I don't really know the ins and outs but all of your pieces are back where they should be,  
except your kneecap. Apparently the large cast will hold everything else in place while it heals but you will eventually need specialized surgery. Will you tell me how you hurt it?" There was such a mothely weight in her words that I almost caved, but instead looked away and shook my head.

I felt her warm soft hands wrap around one of mine,"Dear broken Bella, one day you will see that some people are good and not looking to hurt you."

I scoffed,"Don't you understand Esme? Everyone is good until they aren't. And if in fact your family is good, not just one but seven good people, I should be jailed for inflicting myself on you. It's a no win situation."

Instead of a rebuttle she laughed quietly,'' You remind me so much of Edward. He can talk himself into or out of almost anything. He's intellectualised himself into a very lonely existence Bella, just as you have. Either we are too bad for you or you are too bad for us. Don't you think that there is the possibility of you being at least half wrong?"

Her voice was soft without a hint of accusation. The words travelled from her mouth and settled in my heart as my mind refused them. I stubbornly held on to my cynacism but by the smugness creeping over Esme's angelic face she saw the turmoil within me. Could they be good? Could I?

With a pat on my leg and a promise to send someone up with Mason, Esme left the room, the smell of a vanilla sundae trailing behind her. I stared at the ceiling trying not to think of how trapped I was, weighed down by a cast the size of a car and in a house God knows where. A small voice from inside my own mind soothed me reminding me of the goodness of my hosts and for my own sanity I did not try to silence it as I normally would.

A couple of minutes passed before I heard footsteps and then the door swung open. My little man stood holding hands with both Rosalie and Alice, grinning like he had just won the lottery. I suppose for him he had. Even in the hazy light I could see the cookie crumbs littering his shirt.

"Mama!" Mason yelled at ran towards me. He was small, but fast, and before anyone could stop him he ran straight into my damaged leg.

I buried the pain as best I could but not before a strangled cry escaped my throat. God is that kid made out of brick?

My eyes stopped following the circling birds and found Mason, who looked heart broken. "It's ok baby. Mommy is just really sore ok? Mommy has a big owie and we have to be careful."

He sniffled before mumbling a quick 'kay. I reached my arms out and he climbed safely on my lap. I took a deep breath in, loving that even the Cullen's fancy shampoos couldn't mask his boylike smell of sunshine and mischief. My mind was so engrossed in my son I hadn't noticed the other person joining the room, or Rosalie telling him what had happened.

"Sowy Edwad. Mommy gots an owie and I hurted it." Mason was looking apologetically at Edward, who was glancing between Mason and I with concern.

"She will be fine buddy. Your mommy is a strong lady, but if you want to rough house uncle Emmett is downstairs." Edward winked comically. Mason climbed off of my lap after a small peck on the lips and joined his hand in Rosalie's. She giggled like he was prince Charming and led him out of the room, most likely to go bash her husband.

"How are you really feeling Bella?" Edward's voice was soft and concerned but his lips were pursed as though his words were not his own.

"I feel like I should, I think. Sore, stiff, and groggy. Oh and in desperate need of a shower" I replied keeping things as clinical as possible.

Alice bounced on the spot,"Well that is why I am here, to assist with all the girly stuff. I can help you with the bath stuff, maybe give you a facial..Ohh and then I can blowdry your hair."

I momentarily looked at Edward in fear but turned away when I saw his lip curl up into a smirk. Part of me felt like accusing him of setting this up, but the fair side of me remembered Alice after she had been attacked. In reality her acting like a beautician on crack was her normal, he just enjoyed the idea of having to save me.

Nice try Romeo.

"That's great Alice, thank you. Bye Edward."

My dismissal of him seemed to sting but he cleared his throat and gently closed the door behind him. Alice came and untucked me and handed me my crutch while fitting her pint sized body into my other side. It felt wrong, like leaning on Tinkerbell without her magic dust.

We slowly made it to another door that I soon discovered lead to an ensuite. There was a deep garden tub surrounded by stone, looking like it had sprung naturally through the bathroom tiles which were a mossy green. The vanity was simple with only one sink. I smiled knowing that somewhere along the line a Cullen had shown some kind of restraint. There was also a shower stall made of floating glass inconspicuous but spacious in the corner.

Alice started. "Ok I talked to dad and he said a shower would be best and I just have to cover your cast with some plastic."I looked longingly at the tub before nodding my head.

Alice had me covered in record time and I managed to get my clothes off without falling on my face. I hobbled under the spray feeling Heaven in those highly pressured water droplets pelting my weary flesh.

Alice was handing me the shampoo when I saw the horror on her face. Shit I forgot about my scars. I barely noticed them on the landscape of my body lately. They were there but so was I, with Mason. The rest was just details.

I finished and towelled off and Alice helped me dress into some pyjama shorts and a small t slowly hobbled back over to the bed and I climbed back in as she covered me up. Alice being silent should be a Godsend, but it was making me incredibly tense.

I heaved a sigh,"Ok spill it."

She sniffled before looking at me with watery eyes,"What happened to you? You have so many scars but they're scattered."

I snorted,"Yeah like graffitti no one asked for. It's not a big deal ok? I've had some rough times, but I'm ok now really. Or I will be as soon as I'm not lugging this around." I nodded towards my giant white plaster accessory trying to lighten the moment.

"You should talk to Rose and Jasper." She whispered before kissing me on the forehead and leaving with a promise to bring food and pain relief.

I sat a little stunned in my bed. Surely Alice would try and push me towards her brother, not her own husband, right? I remember Rosalie saying something about coming from a different kind of family then the Cullens. Maybe they had suffered abuse. The thought made me sick as did any abuse, but this hit close to home. As much as I wanted to deny it the family was growing on me as a whole. I may refuse to take things further with Edward, but damn his family was a nice package with so many personalities but one single trait tying them together-character. They all seemed to have it in spades.

Rosalie had been a straight talker and even taken my warning to heart. I wonder if Jasper is the same, and I think I'm going to try to find out. 


	11. Chapter 11

EPOV

I want one word stamped onto my tombstone: Masochist. Perhaps a future generation will see it and learn from me. Years I've spent above the turmoil around me or so I thought.  
I would shake my head in dismay at the silly dramas and petty heartbreaks that people put themselves through. My mind would ponder at the stupidity of the choices they made, and I would stand back aloof and unmarred because I was smart enough not to play those games.

What a fucking idiot I turned out to be.

When Jasper and Rose joined our family I had already known that I was lucky to live in a loving home with comforts not afforded to most. Seeing them grow from their damaged foundation into beautiful members of our family seemed natural and organic. Being around bad affected them in a negative way, but being around our family had acted as a balm. Their story is still mostly a mystery to me, but I know that they suffered abuse, and yet both of them today stood as Cullens, happy and content.

So what the hell had happened to Bella?

This thought haunted me constantly. I knew she saw herself in the same light that Jacob Black did, as a cursed harpy, a plague. I knew not what she had done other then "turn people bad" to make her believe this, but there must be more.

After Bella agreed to let my father treat her I agreed to help him since I had learned under him my entire life. Being objective in this case would be difficult, but in such informal settings I decided that fact could be understood or better yet ignored.

Dad prepared her, sedating her so that we could move her body without causing undue pain. As I collected the supplies he listed off to me, he undressed her. My blood froze as I heard him gasp.

I turned around and there on the table under the harsh medical light suspended from the ceiling lay Bella, broken and unmoving. Her pale skin took on an unhealthy yellow tinge from the lamp but more unsetting were the scars that littered her smooth flesh.

"Now is not the time Edward. These are healed, but her leg is in horrible shape. We need to concentrate on that. Are you able to do that son?" Carlisle's rich baratone echoed in the room and I guessed he was trying to snap me out of the haze I was in at seeing her like this.

I nodded and assisted him as best I could with the heat of rage building in my chest. Looking at the scars it was easy to see that some were much older then others. It's possible they spanned years. It was like counting the rings on a tree to tell it's age, except these were hacked into the woman I cared about more every day.

Having Bella living in our home was another one of my brilliant ideas. Hey there woman I'm falling in love with but who is determined to not have anything to do with me, wanna have a sleep over?

Say it with me: Masochist.

She was up there in the shower, being helped by my sister. She told me to leave. No she just said bye. She dismissed me as quickly as she could. I doubt she had noticed the orchids either.  
They reminded me of her, so vibrant and strong. I'm a damn fool and a coward, unable to give a woman flowers, instead leaving them in her room for when she wakes up from sedation.

I'm a real fucking Prince.

The one bright spot in this fiasco is Mason. His energy of love and laughter filled this house until the roof seemed ready to burst. The women in the family doted on him and he in turn charmed them with his easy smile and boisterous laugh. Emmett and Jasper treated him as one of their own, inviting him to play video games and football. I think they're also enjoying all of the fresh baked cookies that appear almost hourly because of our littlest guest.

But when he wanted quiet or calm he came to me. More then once I felt him before I heard him, his small body next to mine in the library. He would ask about Bella and when she would be able to make 'pastas" again and I would answer him and we would read together. I knew from my days of stalking his home that this was his tradition with Bella. That he chose me as the replacement while she was ill floored me. Given Bella's resolve not to get involved with me perhaps I should have kept myself from bonding with him but it was too late. This little blue eyed version of Bella was just as enchanting as her.

Something about the Swans was like my very own brand of heroin. It was warmth and fire and comfort and electricity and life. There was no way in Hell I could ever believe Bella to be evil, not when she was mirrored in her pure hearted son.

All of these thoughts coursed through me as I sat quietly in the living room watching Rose whisper to Mason and Emmett cast wary glances in their direction. A smirk almost crosses my face until I hear a sniffle and see Alice descending the staircase in tears.

Jasper came from nowhere to wrap his arms around his diminuitive wife. "Ali what's wrong baby?"

"Jazz she has scars and they're all over her. I asked her about them and she just brushed it off like it was nothing. Nothing! You need to talk to her, you're the only one that hasn't tried yet.  
Please please please Jasper I can't stand it."

Alice's begging almost killed me. One because my sister has a kind heart and her seeing such a thing will give her nightmares for weeks. Two because she begged Jasper to help Bella. My Bella, and I couldn't be the one to help her.

Jasper held her for a moment longer and then looked to Emmett and nodded his head asking for company. Wonderful, my overbearing lug of a brother could also assist her in healing along with give her nicknames, while I was left feeling like a stray dog scrounging around for scraps of her attention.

Alice ran into the kitchen and grabbed a lunch tray with food and Bella's pain medication and handed it to Emmett. The two men looked at each other looking like they were gearing up for the fight of their lives, and it may well be.

But it's my damn fight too. There were three words I wanted to hear from that woman's pouty lips and I wouldn't stop until I did. There would be no end to my patience until Bella Swan says,"I trust you." 


	12. Chapter 12

BPOV

My stomach rumbled pulling me from my psychological rambling. I'm sure that it's a sign of insanity to play everything out in your head. I prefer to look at it as preventing unnecessary conversations. Either way sane, or bat shit crazy I was hungry, but a knock on the door prevented me expending the effort to get out of the bed.

Thank the stars because this bed is really comfy.

I ran my fingers through my hair and muttered," come in," feeling like a patient in an expensive private hospital. The door silently opened and revealed a staunch looking Jasper, and Emmett carrying a tray of food and showcasing the biggest dimples I've ever seen. It was no use hiding it and a giggle escaped my lips at my behemoth waiter.

"Mademosielle, we have here today your tasty tasty lunch which I believe is a gourmet turkey sandwich. For your beverage we have a cool glass of the finest Forks filtered tap water. And for dessert, morphine. Bon appetit!" Emmett wiggled his way over and placed the tray down on the bedside table. With a flourish rarely seen in straight men he unfolded the fabric napkin and placed it in my lap.

I smiled and fluttered my eyelids at the man who was a shot of normal to the system around all of this damn Cullen perfection. "Why thank you sir. Compliments to the chef." Manners be damned I grabbed the sandwich and took a huge bite. A moan of pleasure escaped my mouth as the turkey melted with avocado and tomato. Delicious.

Jasper stood near the door, thumbs in his beltloops but his legs shoulder width apart. He may have been going for relaxed but I know that stance. Bastard came to pick a fight. My mouth was still chocking down the deli delight when he cleared his throat.

"Bella I'm sure you know why Emmett and I are the ones delivering your lunch."

I looked up innocently,"No Jasper I don't, unless it's for my sparkling personality. I have no idea."

He snickered and crossed his arms. "Ok I get it. You don't like to talk, especially about yourself. How about doing me a favor and just listening? Otherwise I have to go back to Alice and she'll roast my ass in the pizza oven."

A picture of Alice being the witch from Hansel and Gretel popped into my mind but was too ridiculous. The girl weighed ten pounds and propbably still cries at The Lion King. But the thought of her in tears made my stomach reject my lunch so I nodded to accept his offer.

"Growing up Rosie and me, well our family wasn't like the Cullens. I was the oldest of the boys so I was expected to get the furthest the fastest. My grades had to be the highest, my horse the most well tended. Hell my daddy wanted me to lie to get into the damn military. Nothing I did was ever good enough so the old man figured if I got myself killed serving my country he could save a little face in the county we lived."

He turned around and lifted his shirt, revealing a basketweave of raised scars across his back. One slash extended from one shoulder diagonally down to his hip and looked like it would have cut through to bone. My meal was threatening to reappear but I took a sip of water instead.

"I'm not showing this to you for nothing. Alice told me what she saw in the shower. Mine happened all at one, at the hand of my son of a bitch father. At his belt really. I wasn't willing to listen to him on the military thing. No way I was going from one shithead barking at me all day to another."

All I could do was give a tight nod. Strange as it sounds I was proud of him, not that I could say that without sounding condescending. Or just like a tool.

I thought it was over but he started again,"It was a Monday this happened. Good thing too cause that means all my washing was done. I packed my bag to leave but he wasn't gonna let me go. I had to fight off my own dad just to get out of the house. I finally clocked him a few good ones and was able to get away. Blood was leaking out of me and my back stung like a bitch. No way I wanted an infection so I figure I'd stop off at my uncle's place first, see if Rosie could patch me up a bit. Never would have known if it was any day besides a Monday."

Jasper's head hung in...shame? Emmett clapped a big hand on his shoulder in the universal 'it's ok man' sign. Them Em turned his blue eyes to me and started filling in the blanks.

"You've seen my wife, she's beautiful. Problem is she's always been that, even when she was too young to know what that meant."

Bile rose in my throat and my vision was shaking. I realised I was actually shaking my head in the negative, begging it not to be true.

"Yeah baby Bell, exactly what you're thinking. I won't go into details but her father Royce loved her in ways no man has a right loving his daughter, because it wasn't love. It was sick and wrong,  
and she still has problems from it. She can't have kids or at least we dont think so. He got her pregnant once, found out, and beat her so hard she lost it. It did some damage, you know, like on the insides and shit."

"Oh Em," I had nothing else.

"It's all good now B, well at least it's better. Jasper rode up bleeding all over the place and saw what was happening. Must have stocked up on adrenaline or some shit because he beat the shit out of uncle dickweed, grabbed my girl and drove off."

He smiled big and fist bumped Jasper. Jazz turned his attention back to me," We drove all night, just kept driving, putting as much dirt between us and Texas as we could. Took awhile but we stopped for lunch one day at this little diner in San Francisco. All of a sudden this little bit of spikey haired sugar dances right up to me telling me how I've kept her waiting. Six months later,  
Alice became my bride and three months later Em and Rose got hitched."

"Six months? That's it? I mean ok you love her but how did you take that jump? That's like skateboarding across the Grand Canyon!" I asked increduously.

They both chuckled before Jasper answered," That's why we're the ones up here talking to you princess. Me, cause I know at least a little of how you feel. If your own damn daddy uses you as a whipping post and your mama don't help, it's easy to lose all trust. Humankind is shit, I get that Bella, I really do. But Em's here too, because you gotta know when it comes to this damn family, they don't run from ugly. They can take it, they're a helluva lot stronger then the look, 'specially the ladies."

Emmett nodded emphatically with a comically scared look on his face before cracking into his normal grin," So there you have it Baby Bell. What do you think?"

My teeth worried my bottom lip as I tried to sort through the headfuck that lay before me. Searching deep into my gut instincts I felt the truth in their story. The problem was, their story wasn't mine, and that's what I told them.

"What is it then Bella?" Jasper's tone was strained and his body language was sending off enough angry vibes to warn off a brown bear. "You got my wife crying over your scars, my cousin in love with your son, and everyone else worried as shit. Let's not even mention Edward moping around like someone kicked his damn dog. What is so fucking bad that you think this family can't handle?"

Useless tears slid out of my eyes without my permission. I shuddered in a big breath," I told you guys I'm trouble. Rosalie believed me. I should just go."

Emmett surprised me by standing in front of the only exit arms crossed. What is he, the bouncer to my bedroom? "Um sorry B, that's not going to work. You're a pain in the ass sure, but you're fun too. Your reactions to shit are too hilarious to let you walk your skinny ass outta here."

Jasper almost whispered,"you're worth it Bella." That broke me.

"No I'm not! I'm human garbage getting thrown aside when I'm no longer of use to anyone. Can't take a punch Bella? Bam, out you go. Question anything? See ya. It's everyone, EVERYONE in my life ever. They come in like you guys, kind and warm and next thing I know I need fucking stitches again. My own mother left me to run off with her boyfriends. She finally marries one and asks me home. Bam hello Mr Handsy." My voice was rising and the hysteria was taking me over. I couldn't stop, everything poured out of me. Word vomit filled with all of my misdeeds.

"I've been stabbed, thrown through furniture, and down stairs. My hairs been pulled, my body violated till I can't wash the grime off no matter how hot the water gets. And the funny part? They all said 'I love you'. Each and every single one, but I figured it out. The common denominator? It's me. Every person has an evil inside of them and I bring it floating to the top. I'm a monster magnet and I hate myself, more then you could ever know."

"My Dad is good but all I've ever seen is people walk all over him or the look of disappointment he gets because his daughter is in more fucking trouble. I will not survive that look from you people.  
I can't do it again."

I finished in a course whisper. My throat was raw from crying and screeching and I didn't have a second thought before I popped the morphine laid out on the lunch tray. Mason would be fine for now. As long as I wasn't around them too much, I couldn't draw the ugliness out of them.

The two men stood agape, unsure of how to react to my emotional pyrotechnics. I rolled over and think I heard them apologise before the door whispered shut. Breathe Bella, just wait for the numbness. 


	13. Chapter 13

Ch 13 EPOV

I think I'm going to throw up. Bella's emotional dam burst and I was drowning in her life which made me marvel all the more at her staying afloat. I felt sick at the serenity of my life when she had suffered so much.

From what she said she only saw kindness from her father which backfired on him. Her repulsion as she divulged being violated ate through me, infesting my core with true hatred for the monster that dared touch her. But I couldn't concentrate on that. No I had to worry more about her strongly held belief that this was her fault, that she illicited the ugliness of people, instead of the kindness.

Only twenty something years of history to argue through. Piece of cake. Right?

I looked around the room and took in the faces of my family. My mother was sitting on the cream colored lounge with red rimmed eyes consoling Alice who was openly sobbing. Jasper came into the room and settled on her other side, murmurring words too softly for me to hear while stroking her hair. Dad had thankfully grabbed Mason before his mother's breakdown so he was safely in the backyard.

Rose was hard to read. Her face never settled on one emotion but flitted between agony, hatred, and sympathy. When Emmett shuffled over with tears brimming, he may have expected a verbal assault from his wife on upsetting our guest. Instead she was the first to speak.

"I was wrong to try and keep her away from us. Baby you didn't do anything wrong ok?" We were all in shock. Rose never admitted to being wrong or showed compassion publicly. She gently held her husband's hand before continuing,"She needed to break, it's the only way for us to know how to help her. When she told me she was dangerous to our family I believed her. I thought maybe she was a nympho or something and was warning me to keep our men safe!"

The tension broke a little and even I huffed a short laugh at her assumption. I'm sure if Bella were a husband stealing sex maniac I would have heard that during my stalking days. I certainly hoped so.

Mom spoke softly almost pleading," So what should we do? The poor dear is terrified. The better we treat her, the more she hates herself."

Rose looked lovingly at the only mother she had ever really had,"Yes Esme that's true, but we can't let that deter us. She's probably embarassed and scared shitless from spilling her secrets."

"She popped those tablets and turned her back on us as soon as she stopped." Jasper's voice was finally back to it's normal calm.

Rose got a calculating look in her eyes before it was shoved aside. In it's place was a look of sheer determination.

"You all know how I was when I came here. Edward what you don't know is that my father abused me sexually." Her fierce blue eyes landed on mine with a challenge in them. She didn't want pity,  
she was just sharing information. There was no pity in me for my newest sister either, only pride. I nodded for her to continue.

"I hated myself too. It's so easy to blame yourself when the people that are supposed to love and care for you hurt you, in any way. That's all she's had by the sounds of it so of course she hates herself. I keep thinking about that day I talked to her at the bar. I explained what everyone's reasons for wanting to help her were, except yours Eddie boy because I didn't know. I think I do now though. It's pretty obvious now that I think about it. You're smitten, aren't you?"

She arched her brow at me and from the corner of my eye I swear I saw mom and Alice wearing small smiles. The jig was up.

"Yes, I'm very taken with her."

Rose nodded then asked,"And now that you know her past? Do you want her less?"

I didn't even have to think,"No. If anything it makes me want to protect her and prove her wrong."

"That's the problem Ed." Jasper had a faraway look of concentration on his face." I'd bet dollars to doughnuts lots of those ass holes she's dealt with wanted the same thing. When it didn't work right quick,  
trouble started."

"Exactly". Rose added with gusto.

I tugged at my hair in frustration,"Then what do I do? I don't want to do it just to prove something."

Rose added,"That's what we need to prove to her. She doesn't want to be our charity case or pet project. That beautiful woman is deluded as Hell too because she thinks we are perfect. She needs some pride again. Bella needs to feel as strong as a person as she does being Mason's mom."

Her last statement made it all sink in. Bella was a wonderful mother-devoted and loving. She was strong in that role and it fit her like a second skin. She was happy as a mom. "Ok Rose, so how do we do that in simple terms, for the simple minds in the room?" I jokingly eyed Emmett.

"Whatever man. You're just mad that B digs me enough to let me give her a nickname." The big gorilla had me there and he knew it. He grinned cockily until Rose's hand hit the back of his head. It's good to know that some things never change.

"Funnily enough my childish husband makes a good point. Back at the Plaza she warmed up to Emmett all because he treated her like he treats everyone else. We have to stop tippy toeing around her waiting for some curse to be unleashed. And we can't put on our 'company manners'. We're just as crazy as she is in our own ways and knowing that will make her more comfortable. Esme this gives you free reign to mother her to death, nag at her, correct her bad language, whatever you do to the rest of us."

Mom nodded her head seriously while a small devious glint lit her eyes. "Alice you go pixie crazy! If you want to bug Bella about her wardrobe go nuts. You think you two are going to be besties, well start treating her like it." Alice actually clapped her hands like a small child and bounced in her seat.

"Oh I can't wait for her to wake up. Maybe dad should put her on something weaker then morphine then I could play with her more." Alice laughed and squealed.

Jasper laughed at his now happy wife,"Ok cuz, what do I do?"

"Whatever is normal. Well normal for you my strange little cousin. Just don't avoid her, she doesn't need to feel any shame about her past. Esme you let Carlisle in on all of this too ok? Emmett, baby,  
looks like you got a new baby sister."

"Hell yeah. I'm gonna be the awesomest big bro ever." He actually flexed, and Rose looked at his with something akin to lust. I felt like I was going to vomit again, or maybe it was knowing that my instruction was coming next.

Rose turned to me,"Edward, you're the wild card. I know that you are going to hate this but she is just not ready to handle you and your feelings yet. But I know you won't be able to sit around without feeling like you're close to her. So you will be with me. We are officially on babysitting duty."

Oh shit. One thing that could mess this all up was Mason. If he wasn't happy she would leave, giant cast or not. My family looked at me with either humor or sympathy, knowing the spot this put me in. On one hand you could get no closer to Bella then Mason. On the other, nothing could make Bella hate me more then Mason. But Rose was right. Even if I was ready to grab Bella and run through fields happily ever after, she wasn't. Hell she wasn't really ready to have a conversation with me. This was the best shot I had and I was going to take it.

"Alright Rose, you're on. Just so there is no arguing later, I call dibs on story time."

"Fine."

"Good."

What have I gotten myself into? 


	14. Chapter 14

BPOV

"RISE AND SHINE!"

Oh ugh. I like Emmett, really I do. However being woken up from a drug induced emotional coma by a singing giant is it's own kind of torture. I rolled over and buried my face into the pillow as much as my cast would allow before muffling,"what do you want?"

A giggle escaped the big man and next thing I knew I was being lifted from my comfy bed. "Hey! What are you doing? Put me down!"

"Nope sorry. It's family night and there's no escaping it. Trust me, we've all tried. Better to just go with it baby B." I scowled but was met with a huge grin and dimples. I felt like nothing in his hulking arms. He may as well have been bringing in the laundry. Grumpy, frumpy laundry. He hadn't even stopped to let me cover myself in a robe, probably worried I'd hop my crippled butt out the window.

Emmett shook his head wearing a knowing smirk.

"Em I don't know if there was a mixup with role call but I'm not family, and am therefore immune from family night." I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my chin in defiance.

"You are so going to wish you hadn't said that sweet cheeks." This time a wink ended his statement.

We were nearing the bottom of the stairs and the living room spread out around us. The overstuffed cream lounges looked elegant yet comfortable and were studded here and there with burgandy cushions. Looking aroung the room I noticed small slices of color breaking through the white and cream was tastefully done and the contrast was barely noticeable, just small pulses in the cool even breath of the room. I was placed on an ottoman the size of a small island and sank into it, my cast sticking up like a sail in the wind.

"Where's Mason?" The room looked too ordered to have housed him recently.

Alice bounded across the room,"It's story time so he's on the porch."

My worry disappeared but was replaced with jealousy. Reading to Mason on the porch was the best part of my day. It was lovely for him that this part of his day went on as usual, but I had to force my face from falling into a pout. Real mature Bells.

Emmett cleared his throat," Hey guys wanna hear something funny? I told baby B here how she was required for family night and she informed me that she's not family."

Esme looked appalled,"Bella don't be ridiculous! If you say something like that again I will give Emmett free reign to prank you. You wait till Carlisle hears about this. You sit down to family night young lady. I've never.." Her scolding ran off into the air as she circled back into her kitchen, leaving the memory of her fiery stare burned into my mind. Emmett nodded solemnly but couldnt hide the evil glint in his cobalt blue eyes.

Alice was looking at me with a pout worthy of any playground in America and Rosalie shrugged her shoulders in an understanding way. I remember her saying how big of an adjustment this family was for her. I took strength from the knowledge that she hadn't been driven crazy quite yet.

Jasper gave me a crooked grin before turning back to the heavy book in his lap. I wonder what he thinks of me now. I exploded at him, but worse I made claim that my life was somehow worse then his or even Rosalie's. They had gotten through it all and passed it all but I refused to accept that I could do the same. That was unfair and I needed to make an apology, I just didn't know where to start.

I wiggled in my seat and licked my lips to speak when the front door opened. Carlisle walked in carrying an old fashioned doctor's bag looking every bit the family physician. I noticed small wrinkles around his smiling eyes and heard his soft laugh. Mason came dancing up behind him, holding Edward's hand, retelling Carlisle the story they had been reading.

Mason realised he had an audience and when his eyes landed on me they looked clear and happy,"Mommy you up. I mist you. I bin good. Yeah?" He turned to Edward and pulled on his arm for him to confirm his statement. Edward smiled and it made his whole face change like someone had lit it from behind his skin.

"Very true, Mason has been a very good young man, but he has missed you." Edward wouldn't meet my eyes but kept them on Mason who was grinning at me and nodding.

Esme entered again,"Dinner everybody."

I watched as Mason grabbed Edward's hand and dragged him into the dining room. Emmett appeared and scooped me up once again before carrying me and placing me on a dining chair at the end of the table. I felt strange being at the head of the table until he brought over another chair and rested my bundled leg across it. I mumbled a 'thanks' trying hard to squash the swell of emotion that was building in my chest and trying to come out through my tear ducts. Damn rude thoughtful giants.

Dinner was loud, with everyone taking turns to talk about their days, and Emmett joking through it all. Listening to their stories I realised how much our being here was affecting their lives. Alice was covering the pizzeria and the craft store. Jasper the book store and splitting the running of the gym with Carlisle. Rosalie Esme Emmett and Edward were all here taking care of us. Guilt started to weigh on me and spolied my appetite.

Nothing could stop me smiling when Mason talked about his day. He told stories about the time he'd spent with each of them but most were of Rosalie or Edward. My weak eyes started to water again and I was relieved when plates were cleared. Rosalie carried Mason over to me so that I could hold him, kiss him, and tell him I loved him, then she whisked him off for bath time. I started to tell her how to do it when it dawned on me that she would already know. Time was in a state of flux and this family had been caring for my son. Some part of me was relieved and another was terrified.

After another quick grab Emmett once again placed me on the ottoman. By the time dishes were washed and everyone was settled Rosealie was back and motioned to Edward. He nodded quickly and said a quick "excuse me' before bounding up the stairs.

"Is something wrong Bella?" Esme asked with concern.

And there is something wrong, something I'm not yet willing to admit to myself. The pull I feel from the floor above us is palpable but if I go up to see what I think I will life will never be the same. Seeing Edward doing something kind for Mason and bonding would smash away a big part of my resistance to him. Knowing Mason asked for him is bad enough.

I smiled as convincingly as I could,"No nothing Esme. I guess I'm just jealous of Edward. Reading was always my special thing with Mason."

Emmett stood up and took on an intimidating posture,"You want me to get him out of the way for ya?" He cracks his knuckles for the full meat head effect and none of us can hold back a laugh.

"No Em. That's, um, sweet of you. I guess. Really I'm glad Mason is still getting that kind of attention. You've all been so wonderful to him. I'm just used to it being the two of us and I'm an only child.  
I guess I need to learn to share huh?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Excuse me, Bella?" The rich sound of Edward's voice cut through the conversation.

"Yes?" Did I manage to say that without stuttering?

"Sorry to interrupt you but Mason is asking for you. He requested a song that I don't know, he says that it's your song."

I laughed softly, relieved that my baby had not forgotten me."Of course. Can someone help me please?"

Edward appeared at my side within a breath. His voice was cooler then it's normal timbre, rough like untreated leather. "I will escort you. If Emmett does it you will find it difficult to resettle Mason."

I think Emmett made a crack about his bad-assness but I was too busy concentrating on my breathing as I nodded and Edward scooped me up. His body was warm and taut, his arms stronger than I expected. But as his scent surrounded me I willingly drowned in it. It was spice and maleness and home. My temperature spiked when I tried to avoid his eyes and instead focused on his lips. They were plump and firm and when his tongue slipped out to remoisten them I was glad to be off my feet. I'm sure my knees would have gone otherwise.

Before I knew it he was setting me down outside of a door and offering to help me walk. "Did I wear you out?" I teased.

Edward met my eyes and stated without pause,"You didn't want to even go out with me and the only woman I will carry across a threshhold will be my wife. That means you have to take this step alone."

Did I imagine the sadness in his voice or was that because of my own reaction? Edward talking about some hypothetical woman being his wife twisted my stomach and stabbed my heart. He would do this someday, carry a lady dressed in white through a doorway. He would lay her down and lovingly kiss her before making love to her and claiming her as his in every way.

I tried to suppress the choking feeling in my throat as he picked me back up and carried me the last few steps before standing me next to Mason's bed.


	15. Chapter 15

Ch 15 EPOV

"Edwad can you sing ta Heaven song fo me?" If only I knew it. Spending the time with Mason had made me see what a great kid he really was and how hard it is to deny him.

"Sorry buddy I don't know that one. How about twinkle twinkle little star?"

"No! I wan Heaven song. Mommy sing it to me, pwease?" Cue the big eyes.

I smiled indulgently and said, "Ok Kiddo give me a minute to get her. You stay tucked under the covers."

I made my way down the stairs and saw Bella sitting awkwardly on the ottoman. I excused myself for interrupting and told her of Mason's request. Her dark eyes danced as she let slip a soft laugh, and when she asked for help I broke the land speed record to get to her side and made up an excuse about Emmett getting Mason excited. I think Emmett was making comments but all sound got sucked out of the room as soon as I had Bella in my arms.

It was difficult carrying her with the cast but it was more difficult because of how aware my body was to her proximity. She smelled of vanilla and flowers, her skin was cool and smooth, and she fit perfectly in my arms.

As we neared Mason's room my mind wandered to another time I might carry Bella like this. I thought of her smiling, the picture of a beautiful bride, brimming with love and joy. She didn't notice when I stumbled and had to put her down.

"Did I wear you out?" she asked in a teasing tone and I answered without thinking.

"You didn't want to even go out with me and the only woman I will carry across a threshhold will be my wife. That means you have to take this step alone." I saw the shadow of a thought flicker across her face, but she covered it quickly. Perhaps there is hope yet. I carried her the last few steps and then gently placed her down next to Mason's smiling face.

I cleared my throat,"Um, I'll just leave you two."

"No Edwad stay. Mommy can sing you da heaven song too!" I'm used to pouting from my mother and sister who use it like a weapon. I'm also used to coersion tactics, everything from bullying to reverse psychology and lecturing from the men in the family. Never have I had much trouble turning them away, but the mix of this little boys' enthusiasm and Bella's blush as she slightly nodded was my kryptonite.

Bella sat on the bed with her bad leg hanging off the side. I didn't think it looked very comfortable so I sat near the top of the bed and lifted her leg onto my lap. She looked momentarily surprised before blushing stronger then ever and turning back to her sleepy babe.

"Ok baby, mommy will sing you the song but only if you close your eyes." Mason squeezed his eyes tight and Bella laughed lightly. It was unwise but I soaked in the moment, the three of us, in such a simple yet intimate setting. Bella looked as happy as she had out in the woods and she was allowing me to be a part of it. My chest swelled with pride and pure joy.

Bella looked nervous as she started singing in that sweet but husky voice,"  
Heaven, I'm in Heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak,  
Yet I seem to find that happiness I seek, when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek"

I smiled in amazement. This enchanting creature was singing Sinatra. Be still my brooding cranky heart.  
Heaven, I'm in Heaven and those cares that hung about me through the week,  
Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak, when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek"  
Oh I'd like to climb a mountain and reach the highest peak, but that wouldn't boot me half as much as dancing cheek to cheek Oh I'd like to go out fishing in a river or a creek but that wouldnt thrill me half as much as dancing cheek to cheek

I stole a moment to glance to Mason who laid with his eyes closed but a serene smile painted on his angelic face said that he was still awake.

"Dance with me I want my arms about you, these charms about you, will cary me through, to Heaven I'm in Heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak Yet I seem to find the happiness I seek when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek."  
"Good night baby. Sweet dreams I love you." Bella leant over and gave Mason a kiss before he mumbled back "luff you."

I said a quick good night before helping Bella back up and carrying her through the door and into her bedroom.

"I thought you said you'd only carry your wife across the threshold Mr. Cullen?"

I hadn't even realised we had gone that far. "I suppose we have to get married now Miss Swan." I cringed waiting for her rebuff but instead she just looked off into the distance as her cheeks bloomed with lovely color. Rosalie was going to kill me for this, but for once we were alone and she wasn't acting cold towards me. I set her on her bed and took a deep breath to calm myself.

"Bella, I know that you are concerned that my attraction to you is going to unveil some deep seated evil in me, and I know that in your current condition you are not looking to begin a relationship. But you must understand that I do care about you and would feel honored even to be counted your friend." I wanted so much more, but Bella needed me to take each step deliberately.

Bella sighed and in that moment I did not see an injured woman, or someone who had endured too much. I simply saw a beautiful girl who looked desperately sad and I knew I would do anything to take that feeling from her.

"Edward, I do count you as a friend. You can't know how much it means to me how you have been with Mason. I'm not used to trusting people but I'm trusting you with the thing that means more to me then anything. In all fairness, the distance I keep isn't from not trusting you, it's from not trusting myself."

Hope threatened to spring forth and I shook from the effort of restaining it. My mouth was dry as a sand box as I asked," What are you saying Bella?"

She rubbed her hands across her face before looking straight into my eyes, "I'm saying I want what is best for you because I care about you."

"And if you are the best thing for me?" I asked hurriedly.

"That's not possible. You deserve so much more than I have to give."

Her defeatest tone only made me angry so I hissed," How do you know what I deserve? I am not perfect Bella, no one is. You may be broken and hurting but you keep going. You're brave, stubborn,  
and strong but seeing you in there with Mason you cannot tell me that you are incapable of love! I see it, I see past all the bullshit you keep trying to throw in between us. Just give it a chance."

I realised that the last part ecsaped my lips as a plea but it was all true. I think I had fallen for Bella while watching her dance and laugh in the clearing.

"What do you want Edward? For me to throw myself into being with you consequences be damned?" I scanned her face and all my anger left. She was pleading as well. She was truly terrified.

I knelt in front of her and took her hands in mine. They felt so small but so right and I wanted to be allowed to hold them whenever I liked. I wanted her to be mine.

"I know that you can't do that. You have a frightening past and Mason's well being to consider. Please just don't shut me out. Perhaps, well maybe, um what if I made up a picnic lunch? We could stay on the property and you can spend some time with Mason. Spend the afternoon with me, that's what I'm asking of you Bella. Spend tomorrow with me sweet girl. Please."

My lungs protested but I held my breath. Minutes seemed to drag on but it may have only been seconds. Maybe it was the lack of oxygen but did she just nod?

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

I let the air leave my body and my face couldn't stop from breaking out into a grin," Thank you. Get some rest, I'll tell everyone you're too tired for family night."

She whispered a quick thank you and since I was feeling like one lucky bastard I gently kissed her forehead before I stood up to leave. Tomorrow, I would make Bella see. It was too early to tell her but my actions would leave no doubt that I was in love with my sweet broken girl from the woods. 


	16. Chapter 16

EPOV

I was right when I said Rose would kick my ass. There's a high heel print in my backside to prove it. After Emmett bravely dragged her off of me and I got the third degree from the Cullen women, I was starting to have second thoughts. But nothing could stop me from this. Bella could not learn to trust me from a distance, she needed to see that I was sincere and so completely humanly flawed. She also needed to see that my feelings for her and my affection for Mason were not a show. I needed her sto see it, and feel it for the truth that is is.

The whole night I tossed and turned. Flashes of Bella laughing morphed into her drunken and withdrawn. Most people tell their emotions with their eyes but Bella conveyed them with her mouth. When she was happy her smile lit her entire visage and when she was defeated her lips were closed tightly, like all the life had been drawn from them. And when she was nervous her teeth bit into the soft pink flesh working back and forth just waiting for it to give.

When morning arrived I got up showered and dressed. I tried for casual with loose dark jeans and a plain white shirt, not even bothering to attempt to train the unholy mess on top of my head. I didn't want to look like I was trying to hard. Real smooth Cullen.

I steeled myself for more feminine anger and took a deep breath before descending the stairs. An energy, nervous and bright, sung through my body. Today was my day with Bella. I was so lost in my inner monologue I almost bulldozed my mother who was standing in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee.

"Oh shit. Sorry mom. And sorry for saying shit too." I leaned down and gave her a kiss on her cheek before she swatted me in the arm.

Her brow raised,"In a hurry dear?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I hurried through the words waiting to be caught in the lie.

Her eyes widened comically giving her the appearance of an innocent cartoon kitten," So I suppose it doesn't interest you that Emmett decided to take Mason to the zoo for the day?" My jaw dropped is dismay. There goes my plan with Bella. What am i going to do now? "And it probably doesn't matter to you that Bella is sitting out back either. Alone."

Mom's words sunk in and I received the Esme Cullen aha-I-thought-so look. I kissed the top of her head before sprinting for the back door. I threw it open ruining any level of dignity that I might still maintain, but there she was. Bella was sitting in one of the lounge chairs, stretched out wearing a peaceful smile. Her sable hair was pulled back exposing her long graceful neck and giving me a peek of her collarbones. I really tried not to moan at the sight but her turning around to look at me with a quizzical look on her face told me I failed.

Clearing my throat I walked over and took a seat in the lounger next to her. My legs crossed then uncrossed and I realised how nervous I really was. Bella was wearing a simple white shirt and a pair of denim shorts and looked the girl next door, in a wet dream. When I again found the courage to look at her face she was facing away from me but I could still see the pink hue on her cheeks.

"I wasn't sure you were still coming since Emmett took Mason for the day." Her voice was so low I barely heard the admission. When I did I huffed in disbelief.

"You have got to be kidding Bella. I didn't think it needed to be said because I sure as hell didn't think I was being subtle, but I want to get to know you. Not just Bella the mom, Bella the woman."

A deep sigh escaped her lovely lips,"Can I ask you something Edward?"

"Of course." Ask me for a replica of the Grand Canyon and I'll start diggging.

"What is the one thing in your life that brings you the most joy?"

I barely had to contemplate the answer,"My family."

She shifted a little in her seat so that she could look into my eyes,"What if that beautiful thing, your family, was tainted? What if it came from something dark and ugly?"

Her question confused me. How can something as wonderful as a loving family come from something horrible? "I don't really know what you mean Bella."

Once again she shifted away, looking out blankly over the gardens. her voice was eerily detached and inhuman when she responded. "The best thing in my life is Mason. He completes me and gives me a reason to exist. The only good before that was my dad. Both of them are in my life because of something awful."

"What is that?"

"Love".

My hands ravaged my hair in frustration."How is that?"

A secret smile graced her pink lips, "My dad loved my mother, in fact I think he still does. He has never really moved on, or even out of the home they shared together. But my mother is selfish and little more then a grown shild. She killed some part of him, the part of him that interacted with more then a remote and a can of beer."

Bella snorted in a little laugh and covered her mouth with her delicate hands while blushing from embarassment. "And Mason?" I asked.

The smile was gone in an instant. She looked like a stone angel, sad and beautific beyond compare. Bella was showing me the cracks in her life and it only made her lovelier to me.

"I loved Mason's dad but it was an unhealthy love. He always had me scared, that he would either stay or leave, and I couldn't handle either. He played on thos fears. No matter what happened in my past, they had really only been able to hurt me physically, I had always been able to keep my mind. But with Paul, I lost my head. There's no telling how long I would have stayed with him if I hadn't found out I was pregnant. It wasn't Mason's fault that I had fallen for a monster and my love for him overrode my love for Paul."

I sat and thought for a moment before asking,"Why are you telling me this Bella? I mean, dont' get me wrong, I'm pleased that you are opening up to me, but why this in particular?"

"Because you said that you knew I was capable of love. Edward I know that I am capable of it, even desire it at times, but I have to do what is right for Mason, because he is my one beautiful thing. Can you understand that?"

"And you don't think that I would be good for Mason?" My heart sank lower then medically advised. I think it was somewhere in my shoes.

"Oh Edward I know that you are wonderful with Mason, and I have seen you interact with your family. Hell, even the way you are with me. You're kind and caring. You're a good man. I know that if Mason grew up to be a man like you, I would be extremely happy."

The woman was talking in circles. All I could do was throw my hands up. "I'm failing to see the issue here Bella."

"What happens when you don't want me anymore Edward?"

An incredulous laugh escaped my throat. "As if I could ever not want you Bella. You're being ridiculous."

"No I'm being realistic. You're smart, funny, caring and possibly the most gorgeous man on the planet. I don't know why you're single, but I'm guessing that choice is on your end, not on the ladies." She quirked up an eyebrow in challenge. Finally a chance to explain to the lovely Miss Swan how I am imperfect.

"Yes it's been my choice. I've dated and had girlfriends. I was even in love once and when she left I didn't think I'd ever risk it again. She just ditched me. It left me with the opinion that women just always want more. Those lovely attributes you gave me may be true, but it's not enough. They are always looking for someone better. Someone to spend more money on them, or more time, or for me to change. Here are some facts for you to add to your Edward file. I'm anti-social and moody. I'm closed off even to my family. I'm flawed Bella but I'm stubborn and refuse to change anything about me that is flawed for anyone-because I don't just want to be the man that serves some woman's need for 'more'. I want to be appreciated as is without warranty."

After I finished my ramble I chanced a look at Bella. She was staring at me, into me, with a contemplative look on her face. One corner of her lip twitched before a full blown grin took over her face.

Her smile was contagious and I felt my own lips curl up in a matching grin. "What are you smiling about Miss Swan?"

"I've never had a guy list his faults to woo me. It's definatley a new approach."

I gave a short laugh. "Besides all of those things Bella, I'm just me. I'm going to get things wrong, terribly worng because in all honesty, you confuse the Hell out of me. But I care about you and I care about Mason. I cannot say that I will never hurt you because in the end I'm just a man, but I will never raise a hand to you. Trust me if I even thought about it, I'd quickly be buried out in these gardens- by my own mother."

Bella shook her head with a slight laugh and I went on. "You think I'm joking? I can just see her planting exotic trees over my grave sighing 'what a shame you had to die son but you're making the soil so rich'"

At that Bella broke into laughter so full and hearty tears streamed out of her eyes. "Oh God Edward stop. Thats' too funny and your Esme impression is atrocious! You sound like an old English butler mixed with a tranny!" A new round of laughter came pouring out and I couldn't help but join her. Nothing had ever felt so good.

When the racous laughter died down to heavy gasps and giggles I took her hand in mine. The sun had warmed our skin but that same current ran through my body at the touch. My fingers ghosted across the top of her hand, tracing faint scars that littered the creamy skin. She had fought so many battles but kept on going. Now I wanted to be the man who held her hand through any others that came her way.

Bella was about to break the tension when the sound of a car reached us. Both of us sat with furrowed brows knowing that no one should be coming to the house at this hour, unless Emmett was returning early with Mason. I helped Bella stand and carried her inside. Mom opened the door and we saw a man speaking with her too low for us to hear.

I stepped forward and put Bella on her feet. She leaned forward and gasped which brought the man's attention to her. A sick grin crawled over his lips like an evil snake. He was tall and wiry with hair so dark and dirty it looked like someone had poured ink over his head. Crystal blue eyes which before had been frantic, zeroed in on Bella. Suddenly his arm reached up and I only had time to see a glint of metal and hear Bella's scream before he pulled the trigger.

"


	17. Chapter 17

The first sense that came back to me out of the darkness I was floating in was my sense of smell. The air had chemicals wafting through it and they burned my nostrils. Next I tried to open my eyes and a groan escaped me at how hard it was and how much a tiny spot of light burned my retinas.

"Edward, it's ok son. You're going to be fine, just relax." My father's voice added to my confused state of mind instead of comforting me.

It took forever for me to see him. His image was blurry at first, just a darker outline of beige against the pale colouring of the wall behind him. The light hair on his head made it difficult to seperate it from his face which was leeched of all colour. He reached over to grab a plastic cup with a straw sticking out of it and held it while I took a drink.

In a raspy voice I asked, "Dad, what happened? Why am I in a hospital?"

He breathed a heavy sigh before sitting in an extremely uncomfortable looking chair. 'What do you remember Edward?"

I searched my mind, tried to stretch it out to see if the past would flood in. Pictures would float in but I couldn't make out if they were real or not. I thought of Bella holding my hand in the back garden, smelling the scent of dessert and sunshine. I didn't think that could be real so I looked into my father's weary eyes and shook my head, indicating that I remembered nothing.

"From what I can piece together so far you and Bella came into the house while your mother was speaking to someone at the front door. His name is Paul."

The name Paul struck a chord and I heard the heart monitor accelerate with my breathing. "Where is Bella? And Mason? What happened dad, you've got to tell me..."

"Shh Edward calm your breathing or they will come in here to sedate you." I took a few deep measured breaths, tricking my heart into submission when it wanted to jump out of my throat and go search for Bella.

"Please tell me."

"I don't have the whole story son, but everyone is alive. Paul is Mason's biological father. He is also a drug addict with a history of mental health problems. We do not have all of the information yet but it seems that he may know the men that attcked Alice the night that we all met Bella."

I rudely interrupted him, "Dad I don't need the background information. I need to know what happened to my fucking family."

"I apologise but once again Edward, you need to remain calm. Paul found the house and your mother answered the door. What I understand in that he saw you and Bella and fired a shot. Luckily he was so far gone on drugs his aim missed horribly, but Bella tried to push you out of the way causing you to fall and hit your head where you lost conciousness."

Tremors started to rage within my muscles. That stupid girl. That stupid incredible girl had wanted to save me. "What happened to mom and Bella?''

I had never seen my father's face look so hard or so haunted. The lines around his eyes and mouth no longer looked to be etched from a lifetime of smiles, but from a trudge through Hell.

"Your mother reached for him when he fired the gun. Can you believe it? Your mother, the gentlest creature I have ever known tried to battle a crazed gunman. He knocked her down, practically pistol whipped my dear wife."

My stomach rolled and the taste of bile filled my mouth. Esme Cullen was as warm as fresh baked cookies and as soft as a baby's breath and some monster cracked her with a gun for trying to protect her family. Make that two stupid incredible girls.

Dad swallowed hard. "With you and your mother knocked out he went after Bella. He was not gentle Edward and when you see her you may be shocked, but she will be fine."

"How did it end?" It had to have ended, or none of us would be here.

"Bella fought him back though I'm not sure how. The cocktail of drugs he was on would kill a horse. But she was able to at least restrain him long enough for your mother to wake up, when she did she hit him over the head with that horse statue by the door. To think I argued with her about getting that hideous thing and it saved your lives."

I almost laughed at this absurd converstaion, but it was still too real to be funny. "How badly was everyone hurt?"

"Your mother has a nasty bruise and we will have to watch for any signs of nasuea or dizziness but otherwise she will heal in due time. Much the same for you son, though your period of unconciousness was prolonged so we have to be much more careful. Your doctor has informed me that they will keep you both in overnight for observation and I must say that I agree with them."

His tone of voice offered no room for argument or negotiation. I do not know if I would have had the heart to, knowing what our family meant to him and how close he had come to losing at least one of us.

"And Bella?"

"The main concern for Bella is her leg which was once again hurt. She's in surgery now and they will be able to properly set her kneecap as well as set her up with a more practical brace. She may be on her feet sooner beacuse of this attack strangely enough." He let out a warm chuckle and shook his head softly. Despite her stubborn refusal of hospitals I knew that he had grown quite fond of Bella and particularly respected her role as a mother.

"What other concerns does she have?"

Dad looked at me beseeching me to stay calm. " You must understand Edward, they were grappling for some time. She has major bruising over much of her body. They are doing extensive testing for any internal injuries."

The bile was sneaking up my gullet again. "What injuries do they suspect?"

"When your mother snuck up on him, he was kicking Bella in the stomach babbling about her not having his baby. She was having difficulty speaking when the ambulance arrived and there is bruising around her neck which indicates that he strangled her. The doctors will check to see if there is any damage to her larynyx or any of the other organs in her throat as well as her abdomen."

It happened again. Bella Swan was laying somewhere bruised, beaten, and betrayed. I wasn't there to stop it. I wasn't able to save the day. Instead I had laid there, passed out, while she was battered so harshly she may have lost her voice. That sweet husky sound that tickled my ears and laughed at Mason. Disgust in myself and in Paul filled me and swirled around my cells in a tornado like path of destruction.

"What happens now? Where is Mason?"

"The police are investigating, in fact they are interviewing your mother now. Paul is being treated in this hospital but is in police custody. Mason is fine son. Bella has legal custody of him and before she was sedated she asked that he remain in our care. Rose has happily accepted that responsibility. Her and Emmett still had Mason out for the day when they received the call, so he is not aware of any of this. The others are here though and would like to check on you if you are feeling well enough."

I was feeling no where near well enough. No one should be checking on me, I didn't experience anything more than a headache compared to Bella and my mother. I had never been a fighter or an overly physical man in any way. There was no machismo, no need to exert myself in such a way, until it came to my door and tried to take away my life and that of the people I loved.

"Dad I want to be there when Bella wakes up."

"Son, you need to rest and Bella will be in recovery. Perhaps it's best if..."

"Stop there. I need one of two things. Either my doctor so I can sign myself out AMA, or a wheelchair so I can get to Bella without falling. Or both. But I will be there when she wakes up. I need to be there for Bella."

My father searched my eyes before he sent me a soft smile. "You love her don't you?"

"Yes and I damn well need her to see that. Please dad." I pleaded with my eyes as well as my words.

He nodded his head for a moment. "I'm sure Emmett is up to stealing a wheelchair. Give me five minutes." With that he left, and I breathed in relief that I would soon see those soulful chocolate eyes. 


	18. Chapter 18

BPOV

There are eyes in this tunnel. It's black and endless but eyes swim through like bubbles in the ocean's current. Big slate blue eyes reach me and a giggle joins them in the darkness. "Luff you mommy." I spin around looking for the disjointed voice, but like any apparition it's gone.

Perhaps I'm in a washing machine because suddenly I am turned inside out while still trying to reach the surface. I thought I was a person, now I think I'm an old sock or dish towel.

"Come on baby, open those beautiful eyes for me. I'm waiting for you." Another voice. A rich voice that reaches into the dark and turns me this way and that until I'm staring into eyes of mossy green. The don't float in the dark sea, but stand as the guiding landmark for my escape. I need to get to those eyes, they must be the portals to the outside. I'm so heavy. I'm trudging through invisible black sand that's knee high.

Suddenly light pierces the darkness and the memories of the eyes drift away and are replaced by the sight of Edward and the all too familiar sound of medical equipment.

"Welcome back sweetheart." His green eyes are red and tired.

"Wh-". My throat constricts and pain shoots from my voice box to my chest and swirls around my lungs.

"Shh, I'll tell you everything, but only if you relax for me."

A frustrated tear escapes but I manage a nod. Then Edward tells me everything. I'm so lost in the story and the emotion in his eyes it takes me forever to realise that he's next to my bed in a wheelchair. When I point at it he shrugs. "Hospital policy so I don't fall down, plus it gave Emmett something to do."

I tried to laugh but it sent me into a choking fit that brought tears to my eyes. God what I have brought onto these people?

"Bella look at me. " Edward's smooth voice commanded my attention. "I think I know what that look means and this is not your fault. Paul was out of his mind on enough drugs to stun an elephant. No one blames you for this, not me and not my mother."

Paul had actually struck Esme with a fucking gun. This woman brought me into her home and nagged me like I was one of her own and I repayed her kindness by bringing a crazed gunman to her front door. I knew Edward was telling the truth though, they would not hold me responsible like they should.

"I figured out where you can take blame since you seem so up for it." He flashed me his crooked smile while reaching up to hold my hand. "You sell yourself short Bella. You think that you turned everyone in your life bad, but I see it different. Instead of finding good people and turning them bad you continuously associated with assholes and tried to make them good. In your mind you see that you only deserve the shit that no one else would touch. A nice word here and there does not make a person good, but that is all you ever expected so you tried to improve what you had to work with. But Bella, some things are not yours to fix, such as drug addictions and anger management issues."

He said this last part in humor but still meaning every word.

"Sweetheart in the end your biggest mistake has been punishing yourself by repeatedly getting into relationships with drop kicks. You are officially on a drop kick free diet, understand me Swan?" Edward quirked his eyebrow at me and I tried desperately not to laugh but in the end it was too funny.

I managed to choke out an 'ok' and was rewarded with a huge smile from Edward. There in that hospital room surrounded by beeping machines and covered in a scratchy blanket I finally admitted it to myself. I had fallen in love with Edward and I wanted desperately to deserve him. A worried look crossed his face as the warm salty tears filled my eyes to the brim before falling over.

"Sweetheart what is it, what's wrong?"

I shook my head and feeling like a child I pointed to my eye then my heart and then to him. His glassy blood shot eyes searched mine and I nodded in confirmation.

He exhaled in a huff. "Oh baby I love you too, so much. You have no idea the gift you just gave me."

But I did. Through the years the number of people I could open my heart to dwindled until only my son and my father remained. Then I met Edward. My heart is broken and bruised but it's his and I think it was always meant to be. With him my heart was home.

His warm lips kissed my hands before he looked up at me with bright eyes. "When you get out of here I'm going to kiss you Bella and I may never stop. I just thought you should know what you're in for." He gave me my favorite crooked smile as I felt the blush climb over my cheeks. If that's what I'm in for, send me off doc, I'm ready. 


	19. Chapter 19

AN: Sorry it's been so long. I just made a big move and all I lost was my laptop charger. Go me ;)

Ch 19

EPOV

I spent another hour in Bella's room soaking in the love she had declared. Part of me was terrified that I was in reality lying in my bed down the hall in a coma and the entire thing had been a dream. But the rest of me was grabbing onto any sign that this was the truth and that as I sat here I had Bella's heart.

It wasn't long after Bella quit fighting her pain medication and fell into a deep slumber that I wheeled myself out in to the hallways of the hospital to try and find my mother's room. When I reached the open waiting area I noticed my father talking with Alice, Jasper, and Emmett. Jasper looked up and caught sight of me, giving me a warm smile.

"How ya feeling Eddie?"

Despite the use of that repulsive nickname my grin grew as large as my face would allow. "I'm fucking fantastic bro. How is mom doing?"

Dad came and stood next to me placing a hand on my shoulder. "She's doing well son, well enough to be appalled that none of us had eaten yet. She gave me a stern talking to." My grin remained as I heard him chuckle softly. My mother was going to be just fine by the sound of things.

"We were just figuring out who was going to do the food run but I guess you're out of that bionic-Eddie." Emmett guffawed at his own joke while everyone else rolled their eyes. "Anyway what's got you grinning like you just found the peephole to the girls locker room?"

My whole being smiled and I sat up straighter in my wheelchair with knowledge of the most important truth."She loves me."

It was all I had to say. Alice was bouncing around probably already planning our wedding. My dad shook my hand and whispered, "I guess it was worth pissing off your doctor." Emmett whooped loudly and started doing the running man. Jasper just looked at me conveying his happiness but also his caution. I understood but I didn't want to hear that now. She loved me, I would figure out the rest when I had to.

Dad spoke coherantly first, "Well Edward I think it's best in that case if we go grab food and you should go and visit your mother. If she finds out we knew about this and no one told her we will all be sleeping in camping gear for the next month and winter is coming." I laughed remembering when mom had banished us all from the kitchen for three months because we ate the brownies she had made for the school bake sale.

Everyone said their goodbyes after taking my order and I wheeled myself around to my mom's room. I opened the door as quietly as I could in case she was sleeping and felt my happiness falter at seeing the heart of my family hooked up to multiple machines. She looked so small lying there and I felt like the smallest of men not having protected her.

"Quit staring dear. I may be hurt but I will not tolerate rudeness." Surprised to hear her voice I couldn't help but smile at her teasing tone.

"Mom thank God you're ok. I'm so sorry that I didn't prot-"

"Edward, stop right there. He had a gun honey, a gun. What should you have done? Run at him hoping he didn't get a shot off? No son, you may have ended up seriously hurt or worse. I will take a headache over losing a part of my heart anyday." She smiled at me and reached for my hand.

"Mom you are the heart of this family. I can never tell you how much I appreciate you or how much you mean to me. But I can tell you that I'm a little bit frightened of you since you took on a crazy man with a gun."

She laughed again, the same laugh that had warmed me through my life. Maybe it was falling in love with Bella but something had made me step back and see everything my mother has done for me. I was in awe of the women in my life. They were strong yet caring. They laughed and cried and felt everything with their complete beings. Now I know that there were also willing to die fighting to protect the people that they love.

I cleared my throat and tried to blink the tears away. "Edward dear, how is Bella doing?"

I sighed heavily. "She's doing better then I thought she would. Physically it's going to take some time for her to heal and you know Bella, she blames herself for us getting hurt."

Mom tsked. "Oh that girl is so blind. She did everything the right way in keeping her son away from that slimy criminal but he decided to go about it this way."

I nodded my agreement. "I already told her that you don't blame her."

"Of course I don't! I wouldn't regardless but she tried to save you. In the end that is how you got hurt but her intention was to save you despite the danger to herself. She's brave as well as everything else."

The smile took over my face again. "She loves me mom. She told me."

My mother beamed with joy. "Oh honey I'm so happy for you. It was so clear to the rest of us how you felt about each other I'm so happy that you both see it now."

We talked for a few more minutes but when everyone else showed up I excused myself. Not so long ago I had my entire life figured out. I was suffering self induced isolation despite being in a large and loving family. Women were just trouble and unworthy trouble at that. It was a secure bubble of denile that I encased myself in, safe but lonely.

I rolled up to Bella's bed laughing lightly at her snoring and lifted her hand to my face. Even through the harsh sterile smell of disinfectant I could smell her earthy the roof of this hospital I had come to life and realised the amazing family I had as well as claiming the love of a woman that made my heart soar. My bubble had well and truly burst. I couldn't be happier.

Ch 20 


	20. Chapter 20

Ch 20 BPOV

I'm impressed that whatever it is pumping through my IV is strong enough to knock me out. After all, it's not like I've never been on a drip before. I'm practically the drip club president. A small laugh escapes me since my drug addled brain finds itself funny and then I hear a masculine huff.

My eyes open milimeter by milimeter and I wonder why that huff didn't sound like Edward. Before the blurriness clears entirely I see a tall man with a crown of golden curls sitting against the far wall.

"Something funny sugar?" Jasper drawled with amusement and exhaustion.

I licked my lips preparing to speak before the pain in my throat made itself known and I was only able to get out a strangled squeak. Jasper walked to the side of my bed in a hurried yet calm manner and grabbed the tacky brown plastic cup from the side table and lifted it to my lips.

His brow furrows before he askes, "How do you feel Bella?"

A raspy, "I'm sorry" escapes my lips and I see his confusion. "I didn't mean to discount what you and Rosalie went through. I just wasn't ready yet, to be strong enough to take that leap that you did."

A quiet smile appears and he winks at me," It's alright sugar. I figured you'd be more like Rose, stubborn as a bull. That's why it took her and Emmett three months longer than me and Ali to get hitched."

I grinned imagining Em following her around on his knees with a ring while Rose tried to ignore him. It seemed so like them, sad, but an important part of their story together.

"How is Esme? Where is Edward?" I hated being so blunt with everything that had happened but talking felt like hot coals had taken place in my throat.

Jasper sat next to the hospital bed with his hands in his lap. "Esme is fine. She's been discharged and is keeping busy fussing over everyone. I had to chase her outta here only half an hour ago. I mean I know she's wanting to care for every damn body but she just got pistol whipped. She could sit down a bit, ya know?"

My throat clenched at the reminder of what Esme had endured but I was beyond relieved to know that she was right where she wanted to be, in the middle of everything taking care of her family. That woman was a force and was I ever glad she was on my side.

"Maybe we should get her a Super-Woman costume." I smiled at Jasper conspiritorally as he laughed and nodded at my suggestion.

"Definitely an idea Bella. Now as for your boy, he's ok too although he's in a spot of trouble with his doctors."

Panic burned through the sedatives still in my bloodstream and I motioned for Jasper to go on.

He released a large sigh. "He was supposed to stay in bed Bella. Eddie boy was knocked out for a good while and they need to monitor him for a long continuous time. Make sure everything was ok. Emmett stole him a set of wheels so he could come visit you and go see his mama. That's why one of us has been here non-stop. He didn't want you thinking he ditched you right after you declared yourself." A bushy blonde eyebrow cocked in question.

I forgot that there were no secrets in this family. It made me uncomfortable but with all they had given me, all the kindness and care that had been shown, I couldn't find it in myself to be angry. Even at Edward.  
They were a close family these Cullens. They shared their joys and their sorrows. I just have to choose to see it as Edward wanting to share his happiness with the people he loves. So against my nature, I opened up, and nodded.

Jasper slapped his knee looking every bit the southern boy having a laugh. "Hot damn I can't believe Eddie boy got through your armour. Not that I ain 't happy about it, but that was some thick ass armour sweets."

I shook my head in silent laughter. I must have been accepted into the family since I was being made fun of while still hooked up to a multitude of monitors.

"So it's true? You love him and you're gonna give it an honest try? Because I gotta tell ya Bell, I love ya like a sister already, but I love Eddie too. I don't think he'd be right again if you just up and ran. If it doesn't work, fair. But you gotta promise me that you're giving this your best shot."

This was one of my biggest fears, that I was too far warped to know how to just be in a normal relationship, in a healthy family. I had run so many times before and I knew Jasper was correct in what my running would do to I do him some kind of serious permanent damage? Would I destroy his ability to love and trust? I didn't realise how upset I was getting until I felt a hand rubbing my arm, a hand that sent warm shots through my veins.

"What the fuck did you do Jazz?" Edward growled.

"Edward man calm down I was just talking to her. She's gonna be fine. Right Bella?"

I couldn't calm down enough to answer Jasper. Edward was here. Had he heard what Jasper had said? Would he be scared off now after I had exposed my feelings for him? I suddenly felt extremely vulnerable. My skin felt tight, constricting my breathing, and I just wanted to crawl out of it.

"Shh sweetheart it's ok. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. The doctors released me, everything is fine, and now I can stay with you. I'm not leaving. Please baby, take deep breaths for me."

I finally heard his words enough to calm my heart down from it's gallop. My eyes focused through my tears and I saw Jasper standing against the wall looking guilty. I lifted my arm and motioned him over. He cautiously moved around to the side opposite of Edward who was sending him a murderous glare. My throat tightening had rendered speech impossible so I did the only thing I could think of and placed my hand over Jasper's in what I hoped was a comforting manner. His eyes searched mine for forgiveness but also an answer. I squeezed his hand for one, and nodded for the other.

Edward looked ready to burst so I released Jasper's hand and turned back to him, pleading with my eyes. In my heart I knew that even if Edward knew that Jasper had only been looking out for him, my reaction would still cause him to be angry with a man who cared for him as a brother. His green eyes had darkened to emeralds but started to soften as they looked into mine.

All I could think was "Edward don't throw away one love because you've found another. He's your family." If only I could have spoken the words.

Jasper stood quietly, hands clasped, looking like a man in purgatory. I shifted my eyes to him hoping Edward would do the same so he could see what I did. He did and his face softened completely at his guilt ridden brother in law.

"Jazz man, I'm sorry. I guess my emotions are still running high. You are one of the few people I trust with Bella so I apologise for not acting like it." Edward stuck out his hand and Jasper accepted it, nodding and leaning over me to pat him on the shoulder. Men. Sheesh can't they ever just hug?

Jasper leant over and gave me a kiss on the cheek before sauntering out into the halls muttering about reporting to the drill sargeant. Really I don't know if he meant Alice or Esme.

"Sorry sweetheart. It's hard not to be protective of you, especially when you're on monitors that tell me exactly how upset you are. And before you ask everyone is fine. Rose told Mason that you were in hospital getting your knee fixed so he's missing you but enjoying being spoiled. The doctors say that mom and I are both well enough to go home as long as we take it easy. And you Miss Swan can come home the day after tomorrow. Did I miss anything?"

I smiled a true smile. He knew what I wanted to know without me asking. He knew me, and he was still here. I nodded my head and when he looked at me with a worried brow I offered him my hand to hold. 


	21. Chapter 21

BPOV

The last few days have been a blur of visits from the Cullens as well as the police. Edward tried to protect me from them and their questions but there was no way to avoid it. Honestly I preferred answering their questions while still slightly sedated as it took the edge off.

I wasn't too surprised to find out that Paul was friendly with the men who had attacked Alice. Predatory drunks stick together I guess. There was talk of pressing charges against Jasper for assaulting Laurent. I told my story, starting with the night at the Tavern and including running into one of the men at the Plaza. Even as I relayed the events my worry decreased for Jasper. It would not be hard for any prosecutor worth his salt to make it sound like the three men had been violently harassing me as well as the Cullens.

Paul was being moved to a highly secured mental facility further upstate and I was able to return to the Cullen's home. Carlisle had insisted on hiring a security team at least until James had been detained. I thought it was overboard but what of the Cullen's wasn't? I'm surprised they didn't have my hospital bed moved into my room or hired a private nurse.

Coming back to the Cullen's impressive home was surreal. Mason was happy to see me, planting a long and sloppy kiss on my cheek. I took a long minute to hold him close, hear his laugh, and kiss his shaggy head. Rosalie stood back allowing us to have our moment but watched with all the pride of a loving aunt. He rambled on half in English, half jibberish about the things he and Rosalie had done to pass the time.

"Rosalie, thank you so much. He's happy and obviously been loved while I was gone, so thank you with everything I have." Tears welled up in my eyes in appreciation of what this woman had given me and my child. She had given me peace of mind and cared for him as her own.

The blonde angel in front of me smiled. "Rose, Bella. Family calls me Rose." She bent down from her spot in the Heavens to hug me and I was able to hide my emotion in her perfumed shoulder.

Esme and Alice acted as though nothing of interest had happened and flitted around the house directing people like traffic cops. Esme had stopped for a moment to give me a kiss on my forehead with a tearful thanks. When I sat there confounded by her actions Alice laughed her chiming laugh.

"Oh Bella, it's not your fault that your clutziness spilled over into your rescue attempt."

Everyone laughed and I blushed with shame and embarassment. In reality it was my fault or whoever gave out grace as a personal trait. Alice stepped in again.

"Think of it from Esme's point of view. If someone acted like you did to save Mason from a psycho gunman and he got hurt would you be angry? Or would you be thankful that they tried to save your baby?"

It was still hard to feel any pride for what I had done. My actions caused Edward to get hurt and my decisions lead Paul to the Cullen's home. All that I could feel was skeptical appreciation to the people who didn't hate me. Even more astonishing was that they seem more determined then ever to make me feel at home with them. Rose was right, they were going for sainthood.

The more time I spent with them the more I saw Jasper and Emmett as the antidote to each other. Emmett was loud where Jasper was much more soft spoken. Jasper saw to the deep heart of any situation while Emmett was straight forward and only dealt with what was in front of him. But they were the same in their brotherly love and affection. Both men joked with me and gave me a hard time. I could handle that, but couldn't deal when Emmett tried to apologize for not being there during the attack.

"Em, are you crazy? You have no idea how grateful I am to you and for having Mason far away from that nutcase."

He looks so creatfallen. "Yeah but B, you got bashed."

"Look, if I'm not allowed to take any blame for what happened then you're not allowed to even think on it. Because of you my son got to watch monkeys and elephants instead of the jackass that's supposedly his father."

Emmett stroked his chin while appearing to be in deep thought about the mysteries of the universe. "Ok B, I'll listen to you this once, but only because you knocked Eddie cold."

We both smiled and shook hands, happy in our comradery. Having Carlisle around was valuable if not irritating. Edward, Esme, and I all chased him off at one time or another, too happy to be released from hospital to be constantly subjected to medical testing. If I thought that the Cullen pout was invented by the ladies I was proven wrong. Carlisle could pout and pull out the puppy dog eyes like a pro.

Tonight I was laying in bed feeling stiff and sore yet somehow more content then I could ever remember being. I tried not too feel too happy, afraid that it would all disappear into a cloud of smoke. My life was full of loving supportive people but my instincts would not let me fully accept it yet. The two sides of my brain were still fighting when I heard a soft tap at the door. It inched open silently to reveal Edward and my favorite crooked smile.

I smiled back. "I was wondering when you would be able to escape your father."

Edward rolled his eyes. "This whole situation grants me a lifetime of sympathy for my mother. Can you imagine what he would have been like when she was pregnant?"

Frighteningly I could. Esme would have been glowing and filled with joyful energy while Carlisle followed her around with a couch on a trolley trying to force her to lay down. A small laugh escaped me and I patted the side of my bed for Edward to come join me. It had been too long since I felt his touch and that warmth that it brought me.

Edward sat on my bed and gently pushed my hair behind my shoulder before his hand fell onto mine. "How are you feeling Bella?"

My body flushed and tingled from his simple affection. "Much better now."

"Really? Hmm. Better enough that I can follow through on my warning?"

"Which warning is that?" I bit my lip hoping. There was one thing on my mind and it had my cheeks pulsing with warmth.

His mossy eyes darkened and he licked his lips before whispering, "The one where I kiss you and never stop."

Score.

I couldn't speak, all I could do was lick my lips and hope that this was enough of a sign for him. It must have been because he leant closer and wrapped an arm around me pulling my body flush to his. Green eyes searched mine for an eternity before he lowered his head and gently pressed his lips to mine. It was sweet and tender and nowhere near enough so I ran the tip of my tongue over his closed mouth. A groan escaped his full lips before he kissed me fully.

Suddenly we were a tangle of caressing arms and searching tongues. His breath was warm and sweet and all of my senses swam in everything Edward. My hands ran up his neck into his hair pulling him closer to me while his hands were everywhere except where I needed them. Finally out of breath we pulled away.

"No fair. You stopped." I was still panting which took some of the sting out of my words and Edward chuckled.

"Sweetheart, I didn't say I was finished."

Then he took my face in his hands as if I as made of the finest glass and had me swimming again.


	22. Chapter 22

EPOV

These past few weeks since the attack have been the best and most exhausting of my life. Every day was spent spending time with my family which now included Bella and Mason, and every night was spent kissing Bella until my head felt seperated from my body. The way that woman kisses should come with a warning label.

Things had settled down for the most part. Paul was far away and locked up tight, a fact that all of us were thankful for. Bella's leg was healing and almost all of her bruises were gone revealing her pure creamy skin. Mason acted like he owned the place which was close enough to the truth. The girls have been indulging his every whim which Bella thinks will lead to trouble, but the only thing I'm worried about is Bella herself. She seems to be withdrawing a bit and her eyes never settle, always on the lookout for some threat that no one else can see.

"EDWAD". One thing about Mason, he's got one strong set of pipes.

I crossed from my room to his seeing him clad in dinosaur pj's while sitting on his bed wearing a cheesy grin and I laughed. "What can I do for you little man?"

"You can weed to me pwease?" He handed me a book that was looking worn already from his short time here. It was his favorite and I could practically recite it word for word.

I sat down next to him and read the story. Good thing I do know it so well since his head was in the way of me viewing the pages so that he could see the vibrant pictures. He giggled when I did different voices and gasped at the dramatic parts. It was the same performance from both of us every night, a little boring but too important to go without. Finally I closed the book and got him to snuggle down under the covers.

"Edwad what ahr you?"

I felt my brow crease in confusion. "What do you mean little man?"

"Mommy is my mommy, and nana asmay is my nana. What ahr you?"

Oh dear, how in the Hell do I answer this one? "Well little man for right now I'm your friend."

His little head nodded but then his brow furrowed. "When ahr you weaving?"

"Why would I leave?"

"You says you is my fwend and you kiss my mommy. My fwends that kiss mommy weave. Like Jake."

This little boy, this angel was breaking my heart. Men had come into his world and used his friendship as a tool to try and bed his mother. It killed me in some profound way that he was already starting to see the world as Bella had, lonely and hurtful.

"It's complicated little man but I love you and I love your mommy. If I had it my way I would never leave either of you but it's not all up to me. No matter what though, any time you need me, ever, I will be there for you and so will your mom, and everyone else here ok? You've got all of us forever little man."

I tried to sound as confident as possible in my words just as I tried to hold back the emotion that was leaking into my voice but of course he saw through it. He sat up on his heels and threw his chubby little arms around my neck-he was comforting me. He leaned back and kissed my cheek before laying back down under the covers and closing his eyes.

What in the world was that?

I walked quietly out of the room and went to Bella's down the hall. I raised my hand to knock but stopped when I heard sobbing within. Before I questioned how good of an idea it was I stepped in and saw Bella curled into a ball on her bed with her dark hair fanned around her. My broken angel.

"Bella, love, what is it? What's wrong?" I layed next to her and wrapped my arms around her warm body before she stiffened and pulled away from me. "Bella?"

"I can't do this anymore Edward. I can't put Mason through this again. This time it will be even worse because it's your whole family he will lose out on." I had trouble hearing her because she was rambling in a hysterical voice, but I had heard enough to stop my blood in my veins.

"Bella what are you talking about? Mason is fine." My hand reached for her, silently begging her to let me touch her, comfort her, but she shook me off. She looked frantic. Her eyes were red and wet and travelling around at an impossibly fast pace. The tears had left splotchy trails down her pale cheeks and her plump bottom lip was bleeding from two teeth marks. She was a mess and she was lovely.

"He's getting too attached. He thinks we live here, that this is where we belong, but it's not. We have to leave, we have to go. My poor baby..." She trailed off rambling again and I didn't want to hear what else she was saying. I'd heard enough to know that she was slipping away and she was going to take Mason with her. She was going to take my heart with her.

"Love, please stop. Look at me. Don't do this please, I am begging you Bella. You do belong here, both of you. We all love you, I love you." My words had the opposite effect then the one I desired. A look of pure panic took over her sweet face. She stilled for a moment before she let loose the most gut wrenching scream I have heard in my entire life. I would have covered my ears but I needed my arms to wrap around myself, hold myself together against the agony that poured out of her.

The door to her bedroom slammed open and everyone took in the scene before them. I was crouched a few feet away while Bella stood there mumbling, "we have to go, no good, too good, we have to go..." Mom tried to comfort her but Bella fell to the floor to escape being touched, she scurried away like a wounded animal, not caring about her still healing leg. Mom stepped back and I think I actually heard her heart shatter.

"Son what happened?" Dad was trying to stay calm and quietly instructed the ladies to leave. Mom silenced him with a look. Rose and Alice backed away and I think headed towards Mason's room.

"I think she heard Mason and I talking. He was asking about what role I played in his life and when I was leaving. I did my best to calm his fears, but couldn't say too much without speaking to Bella. She keeps saying that they need to leave and I think she's gone crazy. Please dad, help her. Did you hear that scream? She's in so much pain." I could hear the words, but they didn't sound as if I had spoken them. They were strangled and pained.

Bella seemed oblivious to what I was saying, only empty eyes glanced around looking for an escape. Dad sighed and left for a moment, coming back with his medical bag.

"Edward, I'm going to need two things from you. First I need you to step back to the other side of the room. Second, I'm going to need you to trust me." I furrowed my brow at him until I saw the syringe. Dear God that thing is the size of a knitting needle. Then he said, "Emmett I'm going to need your muscles son."

The gentle giant of our family stepped forward with tears in his eyes while dad explained to him that he needed access to Bella's backside. He nodded, whispered, "sorry baby Bell, it's for your own good" and walked towards her. Suddenly she was aware of the impending threat. She lashed out, a ball of gnashing teeth and scratching nails but finally Emmett subdued her enough for dad to insert the needle.

She faded instantly, becoming calm and hiccupping a few times before closing her eyes.

"Dad, what the fuck happened?" Luckily the situation was too serious for me to get into trouble over my language.

"I can only guess son. Perhaps she heard something in your conversation with Mason that triggered a bad memory for her. She's been acting on guard for the last week. We have all noticed the change. I'm not surprised that she finally broke." He was trying to speak clinically but his own pain at someone he thought of as a daughter was there in his voice.

"You expected this?" I snarled.

"Not quite to this extreme. I thought perhaps you two would have your first fight. Remember son she has suffered abuse and cruelty and has lived for many years blaming herself for it. It would not be unheard of for someone such as Bella to sabotage the good things that come into her life, because of her belief that she does not deserve good things. This though, this is more like a PTSD flashback though I don't think she has that disorder. Give me a few hours. I will consult a trustworthy colleague and we will go from there."

Everyone slowly left, mom stopping to kiss Bella's cheek and stroke her hair first. I stayed. I wasn't sure if she would have wanted me to but I needed to be there. The world outside this door had no oxygen, no sustenance for me. She could have left tonight and it's possible she will wake up and try to leave tomorrow, a preemptive strike against whatever rejection she thought awaited her. But I will hold onto her, this night and the one after and every night until she sees that she does belong here. That I need her here. I'll hold onto to her every night from here to forever, till one of us takes our last breath. 


	23. Chapter 23

Ch 23

BPOV

I laid awake but kept my eyes closed as I tried to piece together the night before. Edward had been reading to Mason and I stood in the hall listening to the joy and love flow around them. My beautiful son and my darling man had created a bond that was unique onto them and it terrified me as much as it touched my heart. I attempted to remember the conversation that followed but it was hazy and filled me with so many emotions.

Panic. Rage. Guilt.

I needed to flee. The pressure was building like a strong wind pushing me towards the door and away from this life where people were kind for no reason other then that they cared. Mason would forget them, he had too. We had to go before the mark they left was permanently etched into his perfect little soul. I knew I wouldn't forget them most of all Edward, but I had to save my son and ignore the pain threatening to rip me apart.

"I know that you're awake Bella." Edward's voice caught me off guard. I hadn't felt him next to me and had assumed that I was alone. Slowly my eyes opened to reveal him sitting in a chair against the wall, effectively he was sitting as far away from me as possible.

"What happened?" My throat was dry and my head was cloudy.

"You freaked out, started saying that you needed to leave. That you and Mason didn't belong here." I noticed the dark circles under his pained eyes and his rumpled clothes that were the same he was wearing yesterday. The darkness was seeping into him and taking the light from his vibrant green eyes. It was happening, I was bringing the curse of myself onto this dear man. No one was safe around me.

"We should leave..."

"Bella stop. No matter which way you spin this we do not want you to leave. I do not want you to leave. You can't use last night's breakdown as an excuse. You can't use Mason's wellbeing as an excuse. He is happy here and we all love him and would protect him with our lives. There is only one reason you would have to run away from us, and I'm not going to accept that either, because I know that you love me. I feel it everyday, even when you're trying to run from me, I see how much that thought hurts you. Don't do this to us."

His eyes had darkened as he spoke and I clearly saw the challenge in them. My previous tactics were useless against the man in front of me who was meeting my resistance and fear with unwavering love.

"I don't remember last night but I know myself. Eventually I will push you away or you will willingly run and the longer Mason is around you the harder it will be on him. He loves you so much already." Tears started to sting my eyes because I knew it was true. I could see how much Mason loved Edward, there was a brightness in his little face when this warm man entered the room. It may be hard for some to see, but he's my little boy and I see it clear as day.

Edward moved to the side of the bed and kneeled on the floor tentatively taking my hand in his own causing the familiar warmth to touch me through the pain. "So let me love him back Bella, because I do. I love him as though he were my own son. If I had my way he would be." The last sentance was mumbled and I wasn't sure that I had heard him correctly. No man could want to take on the responsibility of someone elses kid.

"What was that last bit?"

"I said that if I had my way he would be my son. If I didn't think it would send you running for the hills, I'd ask you to marry me now since I'm already on my knees."

I gasped in surprise. He had said that he loved me, but signing on to love me forever sounded impossible, even for the extraordinary man in front of me.

"Are you truly that shocked? I fell in love watching you at your home with Mason. Your voice haunted me, and I wanted those smiles you gave so freely to be because of me. I need to love you my sweet girl, I need to care for you, just as I need to be allowed to love that beautiful little boy. You both are my heart now and my home and without them life will be meaningless. If you run I will find you because I know that you love me too."

"Edward.." I don't know what possessed me but I pulled him up to my bed. My hands cupped his face and I kissed him with all that I had. His lips molded to mine with desperate ferocity while his tongue massaged my own in their sweet dance. The only thing I knew at that moment was that I needed this man and the completelness that his touch delivered.

My hands wandered down his lean frame to reach the hem of his shirt which I pulled up and over his head, leaving his hair more wild then usual. My shirt quickly followed and Edward groaned when he saw that I had slept without a bra on.

"So beautiful." He whispered before lowering me onto my back and kissing his way down my throat, scraping his teeth across my collarbone, before his talented mouth found my breasts.

I moaned in satisfaction as one hand played with my left nipple while his tongue laved the other bringing both of them to stiff peaks. My hands wandered through his hair and I tugged trying to bring him back to my lips but he had other plans. He released my breasts and ran his hands down my sides and over my belly. I felt uncomfortable at his study of my body with all of it's imperfections but he bent his head and kissed the scattered silvery stretch marks.

"Don't ever be ashamed of these love. These brought Mason into the world. They are sexy, you are sexy and I want it all." His words lit a fire between my thighs and I felt myself swell with need. His hands and mouth travelled lower as he slowly peeled my pants off along with my panties. Suddenly I was laid bare, covered only with Edward's hands and lips. His kisses to my thighs had me quivering when all of a sudden his tongue found the apex between them.

He ran his tongue torturously slow growling as my juices flowed into his mouth. I felt teeth nip at the swolled bundle of nerves and almost came but he pulled back before rolling his tongue against me. My head rolled back in ecstacy as he made love to me with his mouth. All of my muscles tensed as he slid two fingers inside of me and curled them, rubbing against the ridge of tissue that would sending me crazy. Within minutes the tightness in my body reached it's peak as he coaxed my climax from me.

Maybe I was greedy but it wasn't enough. I reached between my legs to pull him up to me and kissed him deeply, tasting myself on his soft mouth. I lowered my hands to his pants and undid the button that was keeping him from being inside of me. Hurriedly I pushed down his pants and boxer briefs using my feet to get them off of him completely. His thick erection stood straight and weeped pre cum from the tip.  
He looked at me with bright eyes full of question and I only had one answer to give.

"Please."

Edward lost what control he had at my uttered plea and my hand wrapped around his throbbing manhood. His eyes closed but his hips bucked in time with the movement of my hand. I lowered him and directed him until he was nudging my entrance. I lifted my hips and with a whispered 'fuck' he slid into me slowly, allowing my body to stretch to his size. We laid still for a moment before I rolled my hips encouraging him to love my body with his own.

He plunged into me over and over, his forehead pressed against mine as we shared our breaths as well as our bodies. "God Edward, so deep, so full."

"Fuck love, so good, I'm not going to last long. Too good ungh." His movements became more frantic and I knew he was as close as I was.

"Please...so close...come with me Edward." I dug my nails into his firm backside and kept him close, rubbing my clit. After another few labored breaths I was shattering and he followed behind me calling out my name and declaring his love.

We laid still soaking in love and sweat. Edward chuckled and I pushed him away so he could see my brow raised in question.

"I guess this means we need to buy you a ring love. There's no way you're getting rid of me now." Then he blessed me with my favorite crooked grin. All I could do was pull him back to me where I could feel his thundering heartbeat against my own. The thought of marrying Edward was frightening but not nearly as painful as the thought of letting him go.


	24. Chapter 24

Ch 24 EPOV

I'm on cloud fucking nine. Usually I don't swear much but I can't help it today. This morning I awoke in Bella's room, my body wrapped protectively around her and her allowing it, accepting it in her slumber.  
My first waking breath was full of her sweet scent, a mix of earthy fruit and lust induced sweat from last night. She had let me love her, let me show her my love in the way my body had yearned for since first seeing her natural beauty through the trees.

I'm sitting in the kitchen now waiting for her to emerge from upstairs. There was only one thing in this universe that could have gotten me out of her bed this morning and that was Mason. I wasn't sure how we would handle him catching us in bed together or if it would upset him so I had reluctantly removed myself and now waited with barely concealed excitement.

Dad had already left for the day as well as Alice and Jasper. I was relieved that the entire family wouldn't be present the morning after but was dreading Emmett reading last night's activities on my grin stretched face. I should have been more concerned about the tiny terror I call mom, who was standing in the kitchen when I entered looking for coffee.

"Good morning son." She smiled like an angel, a little too innocently.

"Um, uh, hi mom. Coffee?" My hands ran through my hair nervously. Maybe if I didn't talk much she would leave it alone.

She pointed to the pot that stood simmering. "It's ready and waiting. I had a feeling you might need a bit of a pick me up this morning." Mom smirked at me and I grimaced.

"Am I that obvious?"

"Yes dear you are. It may as well be written on your face in big black marker. You might want to try and control that before Emmett and Rose return from their errands."

I groaned again while mom just laughed and patted my shoulder before leaving me to my thoughts. It's not that I regretted last night, nothing could be farther from the truth. Making love to Bella was an eye opening experience. No lover before had ever ellicited from me what she did. There had been a possessiveness, a need to bury myself in her so deeply that her skin would melt into mine. I wanted her with me always and last night only incresed the urgency of that feeling.

My cheeks flushed when I remembered some of the things we had said in the middle of sex. I had never been one to talk much during sex, it had seemed to be a fake expectation put into people's sex lives from watching too much porn. But with Bella, I had felt so much that I couldn't stay silent. It was overwhelming in the most incredible way.

A certain part of my body started to harden with the memories when I heard them descending the stairs.

"Mommy, can we pway ou-side pwease? It will get cowld soon I wanna pway ou-side when I can ok pwease?"

Bella laughed lightly. "I suppose that's ok, let's just see what everyone else is up to today and make sure that we won't be in their way." I knew her well enough to hear the underlying nervousness in her voice. When would she accept that this was her home and her family? She and Mason completed us.

They finally turned the corner and saw me sitting there. Bella's face filled with colour and she looked away all around until her gaze settled on the window to the backyard. Mason however was not feeling shy and launched himself at me, his little knees almost hitting me in the groin. At least the fear from that close encounter allowed me to soften enough to hold a conversation.

"Edwad, edwad, mommy say I can pway outside if dat's ok, is it ok edwad pwease?" His pleading grin was infectious and I laughed while feeling a warmth take over my chest. I hoped every day started with a kiss from Bella and a hug from the little angel in my lap.

"Of course little man. Why don't you go play for awhile and your mommy and I will make you some breakfast." He nodded so hard I thought his head would flop off before he climbed down and ran into the backyard making laser noises.

Finally alone with my beauty I stood to reach for her, needing to feel her touch. My arms wrapped around her and I pulled her close, relieved beyond belief when she willingly leaned into me and wrapped her arms around my waist.

It was hard to hear what she said since her face was buried in my chest muffling her words. "Why did you leave?"

"Sweetheart that was one of the hardest things I have ever done, especially with you laying there nice and warm and all rumpled from sex and sleep. But I wanted to talk to you about how we should go about explaining this to Mason before he found me in your bed."

Her answering smile was so warm and loving I had to stop myself from patting myself on the back. "Thank you for that. He's seen me sleep with people before. Jake obviously and even some girlfriends who stayed over. At his age he doesn't consider two people in bed together to be naughty." She laughed at the end with a teasing look to her exquisite face.

I nodded my head, not at all liking that she had shared a bed with Jacob or that Mason had witnessed it. However knowing that Mason didn't see anything dirty about it, that it was something that even friends did,  
relieved my fears. This means sleep overs with Bella. My dick and I agreed that this was awesome news.

"I was so afraid that you would regret last night. " I blurted out.

She shook her head. "No Edward I don't. It wasn't the most logical action to take considering my breakdown, and well, everything. But I do love you and last night I needed to feel that love and show it in a tangible way. Are you, um, ok with what happened?"

She looked up at me with worry in her deep eyes and I choked out a short laugh. "Bella, last night was easily the best of my existence. I thought I was losing you after the other night. But I wasn't going to let that happen. You and mason mean too much to me to just stand back and watch you walk away. I love you sweetheart, I love both of you."

I noticed her eyes fall to my mouth as her pink tongue darted out to moisten her own lips. A groan escaped me before I captured her mouth with my own feeling her warmth melt her into me. She tasted of mint and promises yet to be spoken. Her body pressed against me in a way that was both delicious and distracting, bringing me to painful hardness in mere seconds.

"God Bella I want you again, so much. I know we can't now but please, tonight. I need to feel you again. Please baby." I buried my hands in her long silky tresses bringing her mouth to mine again before she could answer. She made me need and want in ways I had never allowed myself to before. With Bella, my defences were pointless. She yielded to my desires though and nodded through our kiss while grabbing my belt loops and bringing me inpossibly closer to her.

When we finally pulled away her eyes were glassed over and her lips swollen from our kissing. Fuck, I did that to her, I made her heart race and her breath quicken. It was an accomplishment that made my male ego swell and inner caveman beat his chest in victory.

"What do you want to do about your house?" The words escaped my mouth before my brain could process them. She looked at me questioningly.

"What do you mean?"

Shit. "Well, you don't really need it anymore. Mason has a room here and we could bring all of his things that you wanted to keep. You have a room here until your comfortable with us sharing a room. I just, well,  
I um, I don't want you to leave."

Normally letting a woman who I was dating see my vulnerabilities was a big no no in my book. I had always assumed that women prefer confident even arrogant men and besides I hadn't trusted any of them with that part of me. But with Bella I knew that arrogant bullshit only made her bristle and I trusted her with my soft underbelly.

"Edward, I understand what you are saying, believe me I do. I don't particularly like the idea of leaving either. But for the time being, until things are settled I would feel more comfortable knowing that Mason and I still had somewhere to go home too. Just in case."

I nodded in understanding trying to hide my hurt. "I get it, I do. You've got a shitty past and you have to protect yourself and little man. Just so you know, to me everything IS settled. I want you to be my wife, to wake up to you everyday, to share every mundane detail with. You are it for me Bella and I want Mason to be mine. I want to teach him to ride his bike without training wheels and give him advice the first time a girl breaks his heart. I even want to be there when he's an obnoxious teenager and yells at me that I'm not his real dad. It would hurt but we will all know the truth, that I have loved him as my own since I met him.  
You need time, ok. But on my side it's a done deal. You let me know when you want that ring baby and you'll have it."

This conversation may have been a little heavy for so early in the morning but she needed to see. Every word I said, I meant. She looked at me with tears threatening to spill before nodding her head and smiling.  
My heart was pounding in fear that I had pushed her too far when she finally spoke.

"Pancakes for breakfast?"


	25. Chapter 25

Ch 25 BPOV

It was easy with everything going on in my new life with Edward and the Cullens to forget that I still had old responsibilities, namely Jacob Black. Mason had asked about him twice and when I finally got a hold of Jake he wanted to spend some time with Mason. None of the Cullens were too happy about it, Edward in particular.

"I don't understand Bella. He's around when he wants to be and away when he wants. Jacob Black is not his father." Edward had argued.

To be honest Edward was pissing me off. No this situation was not ideal, however I had given my word that as long as it was healthy Mason and Jake could maintain their relationship. The thing I would never admit to Edward though was how I was still too insecure about us to put all of my eggs in the Cullen basket.

"You don't have to understand Edward. I realise that your life at the very least always makes sense, but mine doesn't." It came out snippier than I planned but his perfect control over his own life made me defensive about my own.

Esme agreed to drive me and I accepted. At least then Jake couldn't accuse me of trying to intimidate him. Mason sat happily in the backseat as I nervously wrung my hands. Esme drove quietly giving me too much time to think. We finally approached Jakes house, which I had always liked. The mountain of a man I used to care for stood outside the front door failing to look casual with a smile but crossing his arms over his massive chest.

I stumbled out while Esme released Mason from his booster seat. He ran up to Jake and launched himself at the first important man in his life. His little voice drowned over his and rattled on about all of his exploits with the various members of the Cullen clan. My ears picked up how much he spoke of Edward and I sniled knowing how happy that would make him. Jake put Mason back on the floor and told him to go inside so that we could talk. My little demon came and gave my leg a gentle squeeze before darting into the house.

I was glad that Jake started the conversation as I had no idea what to say.

"How's the leg Bella?"

"Eh, you know. It's healing. Oh this is Esme Cullen." I pointed to her and felt my anger peak when Jake snubbed her with a huff.

"Bella look, I know it's not my place to say anything but do you think you're doing the right thing by Mason?"

I felt blood pool in my face. It was no secret that I didn't care for the people he associated with and had around my son. They weren't bad really, just a bit too into partying. "You're right Jake. It's not your place to say."

His dark eyes narrowed and stared me down."I love him Bella. He may not be my flesh and blood but we love each other."

"That's the only reason we're here Jacob. The thing is though, he is my flesh and blood, so you can please keep your opinions to yourself."

He looked at me with pure hatred, a look I never thought I would see from him. I always thought if anyone could love me for a lifetime it would be him, but the look in his eyes told me that I had been dead wrong.

"Well when you fuck it all to Hell playing family with the Cullens, which you will because you always fucking do, just remember I'll do anything to help him, but you can rot in Hell."

Esme gasped beside me. Jake turned and stormed into the house slamming the door on his way. I stood frozen, paralyzed with fear.

He's right. I always mess everything up including my relationship with him. Jake had been a good man, honest and generous, and I made him hate me. I brought out the worst in him. Edward would end up the same. He was so good, so structured, and settled in his life. I had nothing to offer him but chaos and misery.

At some point I noticed that we had gotten back into the car, my first concious thought was of the grey green trees whirring past my window. The silence echoed in the cars interior until Esme spoke.

"Bella I have come to love you as a daughter and Mason as my own. I feel that I must say I do not think that keeping Jacob Black in your lives is in your best interests. How are you supposed to move forward when you are forced to hear such filth?" She didn't speak unkindly but there was a heat to her voice that was far from her normal softness.

"He has a right to everything he said Esme, to every hurt for each wrong I committed against him. And if he's correct again and I mess everything up, I don't want to suddenly be left with no one else but me who cares for Mason." I waited for tears but they were absent as if I were being denied the release, punished again.

My head hit the window as Esme swerved the car off the road before suddenly screeching to a stop. "You listen you me Isabella Marie Swan, you have had some rotten breaks in your life but you are a grown woman.  
You have the ability to make rational decisions and know right from wrong. You don't have to mess things up. When it gets hard, talk, let it out. Get drunk with the girls, bang my sons brains out- whatever works.  
But don't you dare submit yourself to failure this early on. Understand me young lady?"

I nodded my head hoping my eyes, which were currently popping out of my skull, didn't completely fall out. Esme just lost her shit. She yelled at me. She told me to get drunk if I had to, or use her son's body to work out my stress. I was simultaneously in awe of and terrified of the tiny woman next to me.

The rest of the ride home was quiet but Esme seemed to still fume a bit. Her normally perfect hair was frizzy, like the steam that should be coming from her ears had effected it. We walked into the house. Well I hobbled, she had her angry walk working overtime. The entire family was in the lounge room when we entered.

"Esme, dear, what happened?" Carlisle asked in an overly calm manner.

"I'll tell you what happened. That son of a bitch Jacob Black tried to convince my daughter that she's not good enough for this family. He played on her insecurities and tried to use Mason's welfare as reasons why Bella shouldn't be here. Now if you'll excuse me, I believe there is some meat that needs tenderising in the kitchen."

Esme swore!. My eyes were rounded with shock. Jasper whistled low while Alice giggled. Rose and Em looked at me as if to say, "see told ya we were all nuts". Carlisle looked concerned and Edward looked like he may be sick.

"So, um, yeah. The drop off didn't go as planned."

"How are you handling all of this Bella?" Carlisle seemed to want to put everything to rest while the entire family was present. It still felt so peculiar to have such a large group of people privy to my life. Edward was staring at me with such intensity I felt my insides boil.

"I'll admit what he said upset me. He spoke my deepest fears out loud, that I would mess things up and that Mason would pay the price. I may have started to fall into a bit of a pity party. That's when Esme pulled over and went all Terminator on me. She was right though. At least I hope so."

"What are you going to do about Jacob?" Rose asked in an angry tone.

"Honestly I don't know. I'm not sure if cutting him out of Mason's life is the best idea. It's going to take me some time to feel secure in my place here, I've got a lot of damage to work through. But I think I'm going to make some changes to our agreement. I haven't figured it all out. Guess I'm still too shocked that Esme said a swear word!

Everyone had a chuckle, but seriously. That woman looked like the quintsential garden party mom and yet here she was, smacking gun wielding crackheads with horse statues and saying the b-word. Edward stood next to me and held my hand before he questioned with a nod of his head if I would join him upstairs. I nodded and he lifted me up, carried me upstairs, and sat me down on my bed.

"You're not running."

"No Edward, I'm not. I thought about it but your mom scared me into submission." I snickered hoping he would share in my humour but his face remained a blank mask.

"Bella I don't know what else I can say or do to convince you that..."

"Edward stop. It's not up to you, you're not Superman. Sometimes it breaks through, I'll be sitting with the family or kissing you and it hits me that I haven't been afraid for awhile. Then that sends me into a panic because I've let my guard down. It doesn't make sense and it's not fair to you but that's the truth of it."

He nodded his head slowly before he bunched his forehead. "Not to sound too hopeful, but it sounds like there has been some improvement."

Edward's verdant eyes rounded with desire to hear his thoughts confirmed and it caused me to smile. "Yeah, it is getting better. I'm so sorry about all of this. If I had made smarter choices before things wouldn't be so hard now for us."

His handsome face softened and his hands raised to cup my face, stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. "I wish that you never experienced the pain that you endured, but I am eternally grateful for whatever twist of circumstance lead you to me, to where you belong."

He leaned over and kissed me so softly. Despite it not being a sexual kiss my body flushed with the nearness of him, of being engulfed in his scent and gentle touch. This kiss was a promise, a bone deep oath that no matter what came next, we would face it together.


	26. Chapter 26

A/N Howdy y'all. This chapter is short but kind of important. It shows how neither of them is perfect, but oh how much fun imoerfection can be. Hope you like!

SM owns all original characters.

Ch 26

BPOV

"Tell me about your life. What were you like before coming here?"

It was a simple question I asked, but one which always caused Edward discomfort. He knew what I was getting at, the mysterious heartbreak he suffered but never discussed. We lay in bed laying skin to skin, our heart beats in sync, and our fingers trailing lazily over each others spent bodies. Physically we were so close, the only way to be closer is to be how we were five minutes ago, thoroughly connected. But now I wanted to know him.

"I don't really like to talk about it love. What does it matter, it's all in the past." This was his constant answer. It bothered me that I loved him with all of my heart and yet knew so little about him. Edward knew my demons, the ones that lay dormant and also the ones still waging war on my mind. Yet he never wanted to share his own, to bare his soul open to me. Someone had hurt him, that much was obvious.

"Is it so strange for me to want to know the man I love?" I asked in what I hoped was a light tone.

He smiled, still responding with shiny eyes every time I said that it was him that I loved. "I love you too, but it's behind me, done, and I don't care to relive it. Especially when I have an irresistibly sexy woman naked in bed."I could hear the smirk in his voice despite his mouth being hidden from my sight as he kissed the column of my throat.

I didn't know how to tell him the truth and that being that I still had issues with trusting him. Had he done anything to deserve my suspision? No, he was warm, kind, and generous. Every caress, every whispered word of devotion righted a bit more of the pain that I carried. I wished so hard that I could blindly follow and give my heart to him freely without reservation. I begged every shooting star to let me be able to release the ghosts of my past and start anew, but as of yet my pleas had gone unheard.

I decided to play dirty. My hand snaked down his body before closing around his rapidly hardening manhood. "Don't you want to be inside of me?"

His breath hitched before he responded in his husky aroused voice. "Yes baby."

I pulled him up to me and kissed him deeply, rubbing my tongue against his at a languid pace. "Don't you want to feel it when you make me cum?"

This time he groaned and his hips started to move in time with my hand. "Yes baby, so much."

I pulled him closer and placed open mouth kisses from his ear, down his neck, to his chin which I gave a little nibble. "Don't you see Edward? You have all of me, and in return I need all of you."

He pulled back and looked me in the eye and I saw his hooded with lust. "Bella, I believed she had ruined me. I never thought I could find love again but I have, with you, and I refuse to let it bother me anymore."

He descended on my mouth capturing it with a searing kiss. His lips were hungry and needy, not the gentle loving that they were before. How I envied him, being able to release his nightmares and lose himself in me.

Before I realised his intentions I felt his hardness line up with my wet opening and plunge in. I cried out in surprise and pleasure as he began to move within me.

"Nothing else matters, love. Just this, just you and me." My legs opened of their own accord allowing him to get impossibly deeper. His arms circled behind me and landed on my shoulders, holding me in place so that I felt every hard inch of him.

"God yes, Edward, so deep baby.."

"That's right love, feel me, here and now. Feel this." He grunted at me as his pelvis rubbed against my clit. I felt so full and complete in that moment as if nothing truly existed beyond these walls. It was freeing.

Suddenly he withdrew and turned me over, laid me on my stomach, and entered me from behind. One of his hands travelled underneath me and circled my clit as he covered me completely. Yes this was right, I could let go and trust that he wouldn't hurt me it only in the middle of lovemaking. I ground myself into his hand and then away to feel his penetration. Back and forth I rocked resulting in endless sensation, safe surrounded by his love.

"Yes love, that's it. Fuck Bella, yes, that's it baby."

My body couldn't take all of the sensation and I felt the tension from within start to curl my toes. My breathing was harder as I bared down earning even stronger strokes from Edward's cock. He didn't let up but increased his pace sending spiralling over the edge.

"Oh shit, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna..." and my vision turned white as my body exploded around him, milking him, and causing his own climax.

"Yes Bella, so good, fuck..."

He lay fully atop me, crushing me with his delicious weight, both of us sweating and panting. His lips found the side of my face and kissed me gently, before I felt a smart smack to one of my ass cheeks.

"Ow, what was that for?"

"Two can play at that game love. Don't forget that."

I grinned not feeling anywhere near as embarassed as I should, and really not giving a damn that I got caught out playing dirty. After all, a girl's got to do what she's got to do.


	27. Chapter 27

A/N okie dokey folkies we are getting to the end game. Hope you don't hate me too much for this one hehe. Sm owns all original characters.

Ch 27

EPOV

I lay in bed with Bella sleeping peacefully on my chest, reeling from the last 48 hours. It was hard to take in all of the turmoil, the ups and downs, when everything was so right in this moment. But this is what made every stress worthwhile. Her being here, safe and content and with me.

The morning after Bella once again questioned my past she looked pretty damn tired. One part of me, the caveman that beat his chest in masculine display and hunted wild boar in his spare time, roared with pride. He gurnted that he had done that, worn out this breathtaking woman with passionate lovemaking. The other part of me, the one that was raised by Esme and Carlisle, felt a little shamed that I had taken her again and again when in many ways she was still healing.

It wasn't only in the physical sense either. Her leg was still sore for much of the day and she suffered piercing headaches, but it was also her heart. There was still doubt in her clouded eyes, pain etched deeply into her pure heart. This was difficult to accept because for me life finally and wholly made sense, but she had more demons then most so I was trying to be patient.

Since she did look so exhausted I asked if I could take Mason out for the day. I know that she missed him, so used to him being her only form of human interaction, so I promised to wear him out and bring him back when he would be easier for her to handle.

When I suggested a day out to Mason he suddenly turned into a pogo stick, jumping up and down on his toes. Seems he's been spending time with Alice. I got him strapped into the car with some difficulty. He was doing his best to imitate an earthworm wiggling and twisting and writhing with excitement. It was frustrating but warmed my heart that he looked forward to my company as much as I enjoyed time with him.

We drove to Port Angeles and found a car space near the park. He reached up demanding my hand which I happily gave and was rewarded with his blinding smile.

"Edwad whats we doing today? Can we have ice cweam?" I chuckled and looked down to answer him when I heard a voice I had hoped to never hear again.

"Edward? Oh my God you had a kid?" Tanya screeched. She looked nothing like the woman I had loved. That woman had a softness to her, a warm fragility that welcomed you in. This person that stood in front of me was made up to the hilt wearing a shit load of makeup and clothing way too tight and colourful, just begging for attention. She was also a little slow since Mason was clearly too old to be mine if you considered when we had been together.

"Hello Tanya." My voice was cool without me intending it. It was an unspoken warning for her to be careful what she said around our tiny audience.

"You had a kid. You never wanted that with me! Or did some slut trap you?"

My blood boiled and I felt my hand tighten around Masons. He squeezed me back and when I looked at him he was mirroring my own face. He was an angry angry looking little cherub.

"Scuse me lady." Mason waved his free hand to get Tanya's attention. She looked at him in annoyance but seeing her make eye contact he continued. "Will you hit me pwease?"

My brow gathered in bewilderment and I picked him up, his little body shaking and his cheeks getting darker by the second.

"Why does your spawn want me to hit it Edward?" She tried to sound bitchy but just sounded confused. I shrugged my shoulders but Mason decided to explain.

"My mommy says I can hits people if they hits me first and I wanna hits you in your big mean nose." He balled up his little fists waitng for the attack while I barked out a laugh. Only Mason. Tanya huffed.

"This is my girlfriends son but I and my entire family consider him ours, as a matter of fact I brought him out today to help me pick a ring." Her face turned sanguine and instead of feeling guilty I meerly noticed how it clashed horribly with her strawberry blonde hair.

"That's just fucking great. You, emotionally constipated Edward Cullen, playing house. She must be some lay."

"Her son is right here Tanya and I will not let you upset him. Actually there's no reason for us to keep talking. Goodbye."

I stormed away from the foul language that was spewing from her mouth still carrying Mason, who looked over my shoulder back at Tanya and blew a very mess raspberry. That had me laughing again and I set him down on a bench once we were a good distance away.

"Hey little man I'm sorry about that." I ruffled his hair because we're guys and that's how we show affection. Caveman remember?

"Is ok. She was mean. Whys you buying a wing? Can we still hace ice cweam?"

Another laugh escaped me. "She was mean which is why I haven't been friends with her in a very long time. We can have ice cream but I need your help picking out a ring for your mom, because, well, um, do you know what it means when people get married?"

His big blue eyes widened. "You wanna mawwy mommy? But she says people hate each other when they do that whys you wanna hate my mommy Edwad?"

I groaned once I realised what he was saying. He must have heard some choice things from Bella growing up. "That's not what is supposed to happen when two people get married champ. Nana Esme and papa Carlisle don't hate each other, neither do your aunts and uncles and they are all married. It means that I want you and your mommy to be my family in every way so I can take care of you guys and love you forever."

His eyes found the ground and his head nodded as he repeated my words trying to absorb their meaning. "So you won't hate us?" I shook my head. "We be famiwy?" I nodded. "If I start calling you daddy do I still get ice cweam?" I grinned and nodded my head more enthusiastically. He nodded as well. "Ok then. As long as you won hate us and I get ice cweam."

And it was as simple as that. I wished like nothing else that Bella would accept the ring, but my truest hope was that I could make Bella happy early enough in Mason's life that he wouldn't end up carrying her demons around on his small shoulders.

We went into every jewellry shop in that town and nothing felt quite right. Everything was so shiny and new. Neither of us were. It wasn't until we passed by an antique shop that I found what I was looking for. There in the window on a blue satin pillow was Bella's ring. It was a a central stone surrounded by white gold filigree and spotted with smaller stones. I pointed it out to Mason who was busy devouring an ice cream cone but when he saw the ring he smiled a sticky grin and nodded his head.

After buying the ring we headed home. No one else knew what I had in my pocket and I had sworn Mason to secrecy. However he did let slip our meeting with Tanya. To be totally truthful only Alice knew who she was. I was extremely private and hadn't shared my involvement with her to my family. Tanya had wanted to be moved in, married, and pregnant within the first year and as much as I had loved her, I had not been moved to have that life with her. She says it's the cause of our breakup, and as much as I had beat myself up over it before, now I knew I had dodged a bullet, or a damn cannonball.

That night Bella was quiet and didn't want to make love. I had a feeling it was the Tanya fiasco causing her withdrawl. She couldn't understand why it took me running into her for me to even say her name. I meant what I said to her before, I did not want to relive it and it no longer had any effect on me. Bella carried everything with her, every experience, every feeling, and wrapped herself in it like a cloak. I didn't and I think she found it unnerving.

The next day she spent with Mason and the girls in the back garden. They were all covered in rich dark soil by the end of the day and it brought out Bella's unrefined beauty. Everyone showered and we sat down to dinner. Bella was more lively today and the ring was burning in my pocket, calling to me, insisting to be put on her finger immediately. Rose helped Bella put Mason to bed so I took a shower to calm my nerves.

I considered practicing what I would say but felt that it wouldn't suit. We weren't that kind of couple, I would feel false and Bella would doubt the truth of my words if they sounded scripted so I had to wing it. I dried off, feeling no calmer then I had before, dressed and got into bed, hiding the ring box under my pillow.

It may have in reality been about twenty minutes before Bella enetered the bedroom, but it felt like eons. My heart couldn't keep hammering like this. It was going to give out or punch through my ribcage at this rate. Another three minute eternity till she got into bed with me.

"Hey handsome." Her warm smile caused my already overworked heart to stutter.

"Bella..."


	28. Chapter 28

Ch 28

BPOV

There are a few lessons I've learned in my life that help me deal with the clusterfuck of thoughts that constantly run through my head. The first is that without a healthy yet twisted sense of humour, life will chew you up,  
spit you out, and then run you over- repeatedly with spiked tires. The next is that you should never expect from others what you aren't capable of yourself. If you can't forgive why be surprised when someone you know can't either? And this leads me to the third- no one is perfect. Not even Edward Cullen.

I was touched when he sensed that I missed spending time with Mason and even more so when he realised that I just didn't have the energy to keep up with the whirlwind that is my little boy. So when they left for the day, to spend their energy and time together, to return to me calmer I felt something I never remembered feeling.

Appreciated and understood.

It's a little lame that my boyfriend taking my son out for the day made me feel softer and lighter then a dryer sheet but with all the turbulance in the world, I'd gladly take it. However when they returned from their outing and Mason revealed running into Edward's ex, I felt drastically different. It was the comfy rug being pulled out from under me. He had a past, one that I didn't know about, and I had no information so that I could handle it when it showed up. It left me feeling completely blindsided.

That night I was cold. I felt myself shutting down and closing off to him, like steel shutters surrounding me and my heart from the man I had trusted. Justification came easy, it effected my son, he was hiding things about himself, blah blah blah. I tossed and turned all night, my old mindset fighting where my heart now lay, open and free to Edward. Somewhere around dawn the skies of my mind cleared and I realised how silly and hypocritical I was being.

I was damning him for his past and how he chose to deal with it. He wasn't me. He had a loving family and calmer life, of course it was simpler for him to just leave it all behind him. He had made one bad judement call where I had made about a trillion.

Once I figured out all of these facts I concluded that I was making excuses to push him away because to be honest, the man scared the shit out of me and made me question everything I had ever held to be true. Funnily enough, finding this imperfection, this fundamental difference between us, made me trust him more. It endeared him to me. Issues right?

The next day I dragged my semi-crippled ass out to the garden with the Cullen girls and my little man. Esme was trying to teach me all she knew about nitrogen levels and trimming and a bunch of other stuff I have never heard of. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I don't enjoy cultivated plants, but wild grown natural flora that sprung up where and how it wanted to and survived without human interferance. I did enjoy watching the usually coifed and polished family get covered in mud when Mason ran through the piles creating a dust storm of mammoth proportions. They all laughed when I rose and danced in the cloud and I think I saw Alice get a little teary.

It was easy to know why. Such a short time ago I was wounded and convinced that I would forever remain so. Now I had found peace, laughter, and most importantly family that accepted me scars and all. They were magic these people, dented angels here on earth, sent to show me the joy living instead of only surviving.

After showers and dinner and laughs all around I put Mason to bed. I sang his song and watched his face, where almost all the shadows had disappeared. His blue eyes sparkled even in the dim light and his chubby little cheeks were a healthy happy pink. It was possibly the best moment of my life, not tainted by fear, but coloured with his happiness.

I walked into Edward's room which we now shared almost completely. My clothes felt heavy and I rushed to get them off and into bed with my green eyed lover.

"Hey handsome." I couldn't help but smile. He looked nervous, probably over my behaviour the night before, but still so loving. My calm in the middle of the storm.

"Bella, you've come back to me haven't you?"

I sighed deeply. How strange it was to be in a healthy relationship where one night of quiet coldness was such an ordeal. In the past if it didn't end with the cops getting called or a trip to the emergency room it wasn't really a fight. Now I had something real, a precious delicate still blooming love that I needed to avoid poisoning.

"Yeah, darling I'm back. I'm so sorry about last night. It took me until the wee hours of the morning to realise that you and I are just different, we handle things in different ways. You've accepted so much about me and I turned on you at the first sign of an issue."

"It's ok love. This is all a big adjustment for you and for me, we're going to stumble along the way." I smiled and he lifted his hand to stroke my cheek warming me with the simple caress. "There was one more thing I wanted to talk to you about Bella."

His nerves sounded ready to take him over and his finger shook ever so slightly. I looked to him with pleading eyes for him to continue. He took a deep breath and let ot out in a stuttered huff.

"The thing is Bella, that I love you but I know that we aren't always on the same page. Hell sometimes we're not even in the same book. To me life is almost perfect, settled, done deal, sold sealed and delivered. But I know that it's not that simple for you."

"No it's not, but that's not a refelction of how I feel about you Edward."

He lifted my hand and kissed the tip of each finger before tenderly kissing my palm. "I know sweetheart. I'm just saying this because I need you to understand where I'm coming from."

I nodded a little, unsure of where this was going for about half a second before he lifted up his pillow and revealed a small ring box. A gasp escaped my lips as he slid it open to reveal a beautiful intricate antique ring.

"Bella, I took Mason with me yesterday to help me pick this out and just so you know he has given his approval, although there was some bribery in the form of fudge ripple." He chuckled and I saw it clear as the moon in the night sky. The affection he held for Mason rivaled my own and made my heart ache in the most pleasant way.

"I bought this because I want you to be my wife, because I want Mason to be my son. I can't offer you a fairytale, there will be rough patches in life and in our relationship. But I promise to love you both enough to never walk away, I'll love you so much that even when we don't like each other I will do what is best for our little family."

His voice lowered, became impossibly softer, "This may be one of those times where we aren't on the same page Bella. Maybe you need more time and if that's the case I'll understand. But you need to know this is how I feel and what I want. This ring is yours alone beautiful and it's ready whenever you are."

I looked into his eyes and they shone with insecurities, but not with what he had said. No, that he had meant every word of. It was the insecurity of a man asking a woman to love him as he loves her, to accept him flaws included, and most of all to stay and fight the battles of the world together.

We stayed staring at each other, the noise of downstairs nonexistent in our little bubble. I was scared but my fear had changed, because as much as trusting edward to this degree frightened me, the thought of losing him or worse hurting him made my blood run cold. So I said the only thing I could.

"Yes."


	29. Chapter 29

Ch 29

EPOV

Two months ago the woman who owned my heart agreed to be mine forever. Every day since has made me fall deeper in love with Bella. I see her struggle at times with her new life, the serenity of our little existence sets her off into panic attacks as if without constant chaos an even bigger tragedy must be hiding around every corner. Each night as I hold her close I hear her relive her nightmares, feel her pain pierce my heart.

But there is progress as well, though only someone who knew Bella's past would be able to see it. Her melodious laugh fills the air more frequently now and her smile comes easier. She no longer looks over her shoulder every ten seconds when we are out. She was even able to stand up to that jackass Jacob Black.

When Bella once again went to drop Mason off to spend time with him he quickly spotted the ring on her finger and decided to share his opinion on our upcoming nuptials.

"Are you fucking serious Bella? You actually think you're gonna make it down the aisle with that guy?"

"It's none of your business Jacob, it's between Edward and me."

"Poor fucker know what he's getting into?"

"He knows everything and he's helping me deal with it all."

"What about Mason in all of this? Did you think about him for one second while you were spreading your legs?"

"Fuck you Black! Mason is always on my mind and I'm lucky enough to have found a family and a man who love him. They don't just want him around when it's convenient unlike some people who spend all their time with a bottle in their fucking hands!"

"Don't make me sound like some kind of drunk Bella, that's bullshit and you fucking know it."

"No, I don't. God I used to think you were such a good person but it was an illusion. You're just as selfish and mean as all the rest of them, you just put a better cover over all the ugliness. I'll tell you what I do know, if you can't treat me with the respect I deserve as his mother, and if you can't calm down your partying, you won't be in his life anymore. I won't have you poisoning him."

When Alice relayed the conversation to me I felt like jumping up and down in my seat or doing a victory dance worthy of the Superbowl. I was so full of pride, love, and lust it almost killed me having to wait until night time to ravish my brave fiance. Which I did. Twice.

I couldn't seem to help myself. Everytime her scent assaulted me or that beautiful blush fanned across her cheeks my body responded. I felt like a teenager in love for the first time and perpetually aroused. Luckily Bella's desire matched my own. I'd woken up more than once to warm kisses on my neck and a hand stroking me to hardness.

My family, our family, couldn't be happier about our engagement. My mom and Alice had cried and danced and hugged us both to within an inch of our lives when we made the announcement. Rose danced around with Mason giggling in her arms. The men took turns hugging Bella and welcoming her to the family before giving me punches on the shoulders and warnings about treating "their girl" right. They had it wrong though. She was my girl and I would strive to make her feel joy and love everyday for the rest of forever.

The memories filled me up and my mouth took on the ridiculous grin that graced my face daily as I sat on the couch waiting for Bella to return from her errands. The house was so quiet with just me there, the usual sounds of sarcasm and life strangely absent but Mason's fondness for the local park had coaxed everyone away for the day.

I was suddenly laughing recalling the last time I took him to the park and the in unison eye rolls we received from all of the women of the house at being covered in dirt and leaves when I heard the front door open.

Bella walked in looking pale and shaky. My legs couldn't get me there fast enough before her knees gave out and she clung desperately to the table by the door.

"Bella, what's wrong sweetheart? Here let me help you." I hooked my arm around her waist and practically carried her to the couch. As gently as possible I put her down and grasped her clammy hands with mine.

"Love, please talk to me, you're scaring the shit out of me. Where were you?"

Her breathing was short and raspy but what got me were her eyes. The bottomless browns pools swam with tears and refused to look at me. Her vehemant words clashed with the lost look on her panicked face.

"I want you to know that I love you Edward, I need you to believe that. Please." A tear fell and was quickly followed by others.

My heart was hammering in my chest out of pure fear. "Of course I know you love me sweetheart. You've gone through your own personal Hell to be with me so I know that with certainty. Just as I hope you know that I love you."

She nodded and her hands finally closed around mine. The small reassurance calmed me enough to wait for her to speak again.

"Edward, I'm pregnant."

The world stopped. All of the blood in my body pooled in my chest around my stuttering heart. Bella was having a baby, my baby. There was going to be a small person running around the world that was created by our love. Mason was going to be a big brother and I was going to be a dad.

"Edward say something, please." The tears were flowing freely now down her creamy cheeks.

"I'm sorry love, I'm just in shock. Though I guess I shouldn't be with all of those late night, um, interludes. We weren't too careful huh? But why would this make me question your feelings for me?"

Apparently becoming a father makes me rather ineloquent when I speak.

"I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to trap you or something. This wasn't planned, I swear."

I laughed before sliding down off the couch to kneel in front of her.

"Love, I need you to listen to me and really hear me. I do not feel trapped. Yes it's unexpected but some of the best things in the world are. Sweetheart I cannot explain to you how happy I am about this."

She lifted her eyes but kept her head down. Behind all of the fear in her face was a glimmer of hope. "Really?"

I nodded my head before leaning in to give her a soft kiss and leaned my forhead against hers. "Yes Bella really. Thinking of you growing round and glowing, of Mason reading to his little brother or sister, Love this is the best surprise I could ever receive."

Bella broke into sobs at my words, the relief evident on her face, before she threw herself into my arms.

"Please Edward, just hold me. Pretty soon I'll be too fat for your arms to reach around my body."

I chuckled and did just as she asked. The argument was on the tip of my tongue because nothing could prevent me from holding her close to me, her and our children. This was life, from the darkest corners, to the greatest joy, and I would hold on tight till the end of my days.


End file.
